24 Comments

Charming! This is just the treatment that bureaucrats everywhere would do well to implement - turning the memo into an art form and putting an impish smile on the faces of weary public servants and corporate overlords!

Expand full comment
Jun 23, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

I think this is one of your best here, Terry. You nailed it. It's detailed and entirely believable corporate jargon. 👏

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, Sir

Expand full comment
Jun 23, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

PS that's not to say that you haven't nailed every one (they're all fantastic and so diverse). I just mean that to take a very specific concept/style and somehow transfer your original piece into it was most impressive.

Expand full comment
author

I'm finding it a fascinating project in terms of stretching the imagination

Expand full comment

Very happy you're sharing it with us.

Expand full comment

Absolutely wonderful, Terry! This experiment in style has really made me laugh - but at the same time it's a pretty scary reminder of the absolutely off-the-mark dross that I will generously call 'only sometimes well-intentioned corporogabble'.

It chills me to think that there are actual people out there in real-life offices following whole scripts of this stuff...! 😲

Expand full comment
author

I know. It's both unbelievable and frightening.

Expand full comment
Jun 19, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

Ah, the old bathroom-related ambitions. I know them so well…

Expand full comment
author

LOL

Expand full comment
Jun 19, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

I did enjoy this one, Terry! I especially love that you used so many of the "words to avoid". So rebellious!

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Amy 😂

Expand full comment

I enjoyed this one Terry! Having been in the corporate world at one time, this one sounds so professional.

These "words to avoid" seems kind of ridiculous. Your government is as bad as the current US government when it comes to this. And don't get me started on changing words.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks, Matthew. Changing words? How do you mean? Do you mean inventing words? (Usually pretty ugly ones)

Expand full comment

Here is a few examples of what I'm talking about. I'll send you an email with a link to the others.

Illegal alien is now undocumented noncitizen

Pregnant woman is now pregnant person

Expand full comment
Jun 18, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

This is the best one EVER, Terry. Because it is so true. " minimise, prioritise, incentivise, optimise!" "Parameters, dialog, agenda, misalign!" I absolutely love "non-permanent proprioceptive malfunction" and "initiate a bilateral telephonic meeting." Just another reason I stopped watching TV news and listening to political speeches. Thanks for the best morning laugh this week, Dr Tel.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks, Sharron. Glad it made you laugh. I tried to use as many of the government's 'banned' words as possible!

Expand full comment
Jun 18, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

What do you mean banned? Banned by whom? Banned for use where? Curious.

Expand full comment
author

Not banned as such, but strongly discouraged. See https://www.gov.uk/guidance/style-guide/a-to-z-of-gov-uk-style#words-to-avoid

Expand full comment
Jun 18, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

Thanks, Terry. Very interesting. The "Government Digital Service." sounds like an agency directly out of Paulette Jiles' dystopian novel, Lighthouse Island. All I can say is that I am so glad I am not an editor...

Expand full comment
author

😂 I don't know that book, but you're right: it does sound dystopian doesn't it?

Expand full comment

I think you've got a corporate future, doc. Quite an obfuscatingly wondrous talent!

Expand full comment
author

LOL. Thanks, Mark (I think!)

Expand full comment

Corporate is becoming meporate.

Expand full comment