My colleague had a beautiful solution. Any students who did not have homework to turn in were given a post-it note. On it, they had to write, "I didn't turn in homework today" and sign and date it. They could not leave the classroom until the post-it was turned in. She would attach these post -its to the students' records. Then when parents stormed her classroom demanding to know why their child was failed in the class, she had hard evidence for them - acknowledged in their child's own hand. I thought it was brilliant. It really turned her students around.
The truth? Actually, I hated secondary school so much, and was such a failure there (see https://terryfreedman.substack.com/p/dear-mr-dale) that I didn't even bother to offer any excuse in the end. I was a great failure in their eyes, and they were a great failure in mine.
I had an algebra/geometry teacher I remember well. At the beginning of each year he told the class something like this:--- No excuses for no homework. If you miss your homework it is a zero. Here is why. I have heard every excuse ever invented and never accepted a single one. One student even told me, "Sir I don't have my homework because it was eaten by a lion." The thing is he wasn't lying, a lion did eat his homework he had the tooth torn bookbag to prove it (and witnesses), I was teaching in Africa at the time. I did not accept his excuse and I will not accept yours.--- Mr Davis was my favorite teacher ever! I still remember his name and I always turned in my homework.
I'm a decade from having retired from the classroom (and teaching, too), and my audience of happenstance was 4th and 5th graders, two years each. Being in the U.S., a spot of tea at the counselor's office is an hilarious notion (and mental picture), although I can't recall if you mentioned your age group! I'm guessing tea might have gone over better with teens than with, say, primary kiddos in your country.
Cynic that I am, I'll wager a guess that, stateside, young'uns now would be handed a phone already tuned to Tik-Tok! An hour in the counselor's office, and they'd be ready to go!🤣
I'm guessing you've tried trundling thru The Guardian, online, to see if your article might still be around. I'd have loved to have tried the spreadsheet back in the day, and I bet you see a lot of your teaching readers adopting it for their use!📝
Hello. Age group: 11-18, but the main miscreants were around 14-15, ie the age when they knew how to work the system and were getting bored; the age between being bright and cheerful about starting their new school, and having to knuckle down and start thinking about qualifications and jobs. In one school I worked at, the head of PE gave naughty kids a chocolate bar. Talk about perverse incentives! I have tried trundling through the Guardian, and the wayback machine, alas to no avail. Until now, my contribution to teachers' sanity has been lost in the mists of time, but thanks to my unbounded munificence a new generation of educators is able to enjoy the fruits of my labour. (Sorry, but I used to read a lot of superhero comics and I think they may have left an impression on me. I was particularly attracted to the supervillains, who always seemed to be laughing for some reason.)
Good point about the teens. Another reason I taught pre-middle-school. No hormones.....yet. I can't imagine all the drama and misadventures in middle school....and, then you throw hormones into the mix?!? No thank you!
I do recall the hilarious vision of these massive amazon 5th grade girls, super-charged early over all these teeny-weeny boys a foot shorter than they! A fellow 5th grade male teacher and I would routinely have to break up a girl-fight (always over the same boy who just couldn't care less at this point!), telling them, "Do you realize what you two are fighting over? We're guys! We know what we're like! C'mon, Tiff and Adirondack, fight over something worth fighting over!"
Of course, it all went in one ear and out the other, plus we were having a little fun with that approach, but hey, we lack tea (if not tact)!
😂 It always amazed me that on more than one occasion I discovered that some beautiful, super-intelligent girl was dating a boy who was younger than she was, completely dim, and nothing to look at. Which reminds me of a joke by Tommy Cooper, an English magician and comedian.
Oh, this is brilliant! Glad to see that you've been non-specific in number 13: it could be ANY pet that's eaten it!
I remember a violinist friend of mine getting in a heck of a state because her sheet music had blown out of her top-floor window while she was practising on a breezy summer's day. 'The conductor's never going to believe me!' she cried. 'It's the musician's equivalent of 'the dog ate my homework!'
So in college, “ I’m not feeling well” was my go to excuse and you do not have that one on the spreadsheet, Terry 😁 or “ I need a mental health day” - also the damn truth lol
You're right, Camille! I suspect if I inserted a mental health excuse these days I'd be not merely flamed but incinerated! I should have thought of it though: the school had a school counsellor to whom the kids went anytime they fancied a cup of tea!
It’s a fine line between abuse of services there to help you and actually needing a day 😄 I think the greatest respect I have for educators is those who discern when their students are just making shit up so they don’t have to come to class and when the student has a valid reason . And this all changes from level of education to level of education of course .
I agree, Camille. That particular school had a three line whip: if a child felt the need to see the counsellor, we weren't allowed to query their reasons, let alone stop them. All the counsellor did was give them a cup of tea. The kids would smirk at their friends as they left the classroom. It was like an institutionalised abuse of a system which had been set up with the best of motives.
Yes. But I don't think schools should be therapy places. I mean, it's a fine line, but if a child is really distressed they should be dealt with properly, not just given a cup of tea. That's what I think anyway.
My colleague had a beautiful solution. Any students who did not have homework to turn in were given a post-it note. On it, they had to write, "I didn't turn in homework today" and sign and date it. They could not leave the classroom until the post-it was turned in. She would attach these post -its to the students' records. Then when parents stormed her classroom demanding to know why their child was failed in the class, she had hard evidence for them - acknowledged in their child's own hand. I thought it was brilliant. It really turned her students around.
brilliant!
Great list. Those are a lot of excuses. A couple of times I forgot to do my homework. But I never used an excuse like those. I told the truth. 😀
The truth? Actually, I hated secondary school so much, and was such a failure there (see https://terryfreedman.substack.com/p/dear-mr-dale) that I didn't even bother to offer any excuse in the end. I was a great failure in their eyes, and they were a great failure in mine.
Brilliant idea! I'm tempted to try it out.
Thanks, Jillian! You definitely should!
I had an algebra/geometry teacher I remember well. At the beginning of each year he told the class something like this:--- No excuses for no homework. If you miss your homework it is a zero. Here is why. I have heard every excuse ever invented and never accepted a single one. One student even told me, "Sir I don't have my homework because it was eaten by a lion." The thing is he wasn't lying, a lion did eat his homework he had the tooth torn bookbag to prove it (and witnesses), I was teaching in Africa at the time. I did not accept his excuse and I will not accept yours.--- Mr Davis was my favorite teacher ever! I still remember his name and I always turned in my homework.
Sounds like my kind of bloke!
I'm a decade from having retired from the classroom (and teaching, too), and my audience of happenstance was 4th and 5th graders, two years each. Being in the U.S., a spot of tea at the counselor's office is an hilarious notion (and mental picture), although I can't recall if you mentioned your age group! I'm guessing tea might have gone over better with teens than with, say, primary kiddos in your country.
Cynic that I am, I'll wager a guess that, stateside, young'uns now would be handed a phone already tuned to Tik-Tok! An hour in the counselor's office, and they'd be ready to go!🤣
I'm guessing you've tried trundling thru The Guardian, online, to see if your article might still be around. I'd have loved to have tried the spreadsheet back in the day, and I bet you see a lot of your teaching readers adopting it for their use!📝
Hello. Age group: 11-18, but the main miscreants were around 14-15, ie the age when they knew how to work the system and were getting bored; the age between being bright and cheerful about starting their new school, and having to knuckle down and start thinking about qualifications and jobs. In one school I worked at, the head of PE gave naughty kids a chocolate bar. Talk about perverse incentives! I have tried trundling through the Guardian, and the wayback machine, alas to no avail. Until now, my contribution to teachers' sanity has been lost in the mists of time, but thanks to my unbounded munificence a new generation of educators is able to enjoy the fruits of my labour. (Sorry, but I used to read a lot of superhero comics and I think they may have left an impression on me. I was particularly attracted to the supervillains, who always seemed to be laughing for some reason.)
Good point about the teens. Another reason I taught pre-middle-school. No hormones.....yet. I can't imagine all the drama and misadventures in middle school....and, then you throw hormones into the mix?!? No thank you!
I do recall the hilarious vision of these massive amazon 5th grade girls, super-charged early over all these teeny-weeny boys a foot shorter than they! A fellow 5th grade male teacher and I would routinely have to break up a girl-fight (always over the same boy who just couldn't care less at this point!), telling them, "Do you realize what you two are fighting over? We're guys! We know what we're like! C'mon, Tiff and Adirondack, fight over something worth fighting over!"
Of course, it all went in one ear and out the other, plus we were having a little fun with that approach, but hey, we lack tea (if not tact)!
😂 It always amazed me that on more than one occasion I discovered that some beautiful, super-intelligent girl was dating a boy who was younger than she was, completely dim, and nothing to look at. Which reminds me of a joke by Tommy Cooper, an English magician and comedian.
Dr: I'm afraid you're very ill.
TC: Well I'd like a second opinion.
Dr: You're bloody ugly as well.
Oh, this is brilliant! Glad to see that you've been non-specific in number 13: it could be ANY pet that's eaten it!
I remember a violinist friend of mine getting in a heck of a state because her sheet music had blown out of her top-floor window while she was practising on a breezy summer's day. 'The conductor's never going to believe me!' she cried. 'It's the musician's equivalent of 'the dog ate my homework!'
LOL. I feel that dogs have a bad reputation, so I try to be democratic. If you'd met our feline squatters you'd understand why. Thanks for kind words!
😃
That is brilliant!
🤣 Thanks, Sarah! Glad you like it
So in college, “ I’m not feeling well” was my go to excuse and you do not have that one on the spreadsheet, Terry 😁 or “ I need a mental health day” - also the damn truth lol
You're right, Camille! I suspect if I inserted a mental health excuse these days I'd be not merely flamed but incinerated! I should have thought of it though: the school had a school counsellor to whom the kids went anytime they fancied a cup of tea!
It’s a fine line between abuse of services there to help you and actually needing a day 😄 I think the greatest respect I have for educators is those who discern when their students are just making shit up so they don’t have to come to class and when the student has a valid reason . And this all changes from level of education to level of education of course .
I agree, Camille. That particular school had a three line whip: if a child felt the need to see the counsellor, we weren't allowed to query their reasons, let alone stop them. All the counsellor did was give them a cup of tea. The kids would smirk at their friends as they left the classroom. It was like an institutionalised abuse of a system which had been set up with the best of motives.
That’s so difficult . Educational settings/ working with children or young adults simply carries so much nuance
Yes. But I don't think schools should be therapy places. I mean, it's a fine line, but if a child is really distressed they should be dealt with properly, not just given a cup of tea. That's what I think anyway.
I completely agree. There is definitely a boundary that needs to exist for therapy to be effective and for schooling to be effective, both.