Here’s a sort of chicken and egg question. Do people who work for large organisations slowly become idiots, or do large organisations go out of their way to recruit idiots? The reason I ask is because of three experiences in particular.
Experience #1: The letter
One morning I received an official letter from a branch of government. The letter read:
Dear Mr Freedman
Have you ever lived at either of the following addresses? Please reply on this form.
This was followed by two blank spaces. I wrote on the form:
No. There are also a number of other addresses I haven’t lived at.
I never heard from them again, so what on earth was the point of sending that to me? And how did it get sent? Did someone decide to send me a nonsense letter? Or were they about to fill in the addresses and got interrupted? (In which case, why no follow-up?)
I decided not to pursue the matter in case I found myself in a situation like K in Kafka’s The Trial.
Experience #2: The purchase
While working for a large organisation I put in an order for some grommets, from Grommets-R-Us Ltd. (Those names are made up, by the way.) I marked the order as urgent.
All orders had to go via the Purchasing Department, so when I’d heard nothing after a week, I phoned the Purchasing Department. The following conversation ensued:
Me: I put in a purchase order for some grommets from Grommets-R-Us Ltd last week, and I was wondering what the situation is with that please.
Purchasing: Unfortunately, the person who deals with it is on maternity leave.
Me: Well, can’t someone else deal with it?
Purchasing: No, because we all have our allocated slots.
Me: Pardon?
Purchasing: For example, I’m responsible for purchases from companies whose name begins with A to D. The person who deals with E to H will be back in 9 months’ time.
Who on earth came up with that “system”? They must have been on some pretty strong weed to think that was a cracking idea. I circumvented the problem in the end by phoning the company and agreeing with them that I could place the order directly with one of their subsidiaries whose name began with an M.
Experience #3: Training
The person who came up with the systems in the Purchasing department was definitely on something. The next time I sent in a purchase order I was phoned up. Here is that conversation:
Purchasing: I’m afraid we have stopped accepting purchase requests sent by email or brought to us as a print-out.
Me: Well, how can I order anything then?
Purchasing: You have to use our new electronic ordering system.
Me: OK, how do I get access to that please?
Purchasing: You have to take our training first.
Me: OK, how do I sign up to the training?
Purchasing: You can’t, we’re not running it any more.
We (my line manager and I) circumvented that one by kicking up such a fuss that they reinstated the training.
How is that such an obviously ridiculous situation could have been devised, or the likely downsides not foreseen?
Somehow I have managed to stay sane (although some would dispute this). But I can’t help feeling like the protagonist in the placard shown above.
That is funny! I wonder how the company stayed in business if that's how they acted all the time.
Nothing like organizations that contain multitudes.