Start the week #55

Feline interest, scary stuff, chortleworthy videos and another attempt to mangle to English language out of all recognition, and tea, but not in that order

Greetings! In case you're a recent subscriber, here is a picture of my immediate family.

“Artwork” by Terry Freedman

But enough of this persiflage! On with the newsletter.

Terry

Inside Freedman Towers

Properly speaking, this week's episode ought to be named outside Freedman Towers, because the adventure began even before we'd entered the house. Passing a neighbour's property we saw this bedraggled creature.

Photo by Terry Freedman

A few days before we had seen her huddled up against our wall, but before we could take a photo, with a view to putting it in a local community forum, she disappeared.

Anyway, the neighbour and Elaine gave her some treats while I went into our house to grab a cat box. Elaine is very good with animals, so she easily coaxed her into the cat box, and off we went to our local vet. It was but a short time later that they ascertained that the cat had not been microchipped, making it difficult, and probably impossible, to reunite her with her owners.

Allow me to take a brief moment out of this story to say that if you have a pet, please have them microchipped. (In England, now, all new pets have to be microchipped I believe.) Doing so makes it a cinch to discover who the creature belongs to.

Back to the story. The cat wore a collar, so she wasn't, or hadn't been, a stray. Perhaps she was lost, perhaps the owners moved and abandoned her; perhaps they just dumped her somewhere because of the expense involved — that is happening a lot in these parts. The vet receptionist phoned around cat shelters, but they were all full up. As we were wondering what to do, a lady came in with her cat, and fell in love with "our" one. She phoned her husband to ask if she could take her home. He said "No", but she did so anyway. The receptionist gave the lady a cat box and, when Elaine said flea treatment would be needed because there was flea dirt in her fur, so the receptionist gave the lady flea tablets. "Could I have some for Elaine?", I asked her. "We'd have to order it in.”, she answered¹.

You might be wondering why we didn't simply take the cat home with us. Apart from the expense, we were concerned abut the disruption. Willow and Minty are an item, and Mocha is both frightened of her own shadow and aggressive towards other cats. The outcome was best for all concerned — except, perhaps, that lady's husband!

UPDATE

Elaine asked after the cat this morning. It turns out she had a wound, which has now been sorted out.

A new series begins

Or is about to. I'm working on a new two-weekly series on my creative nonfiction heroes, what did they write, how, what is it I enjoy about their writing? What can we learn from them that we could apply to our own writing? The series will be for paid subscribers.

Hard or soft sell? You choose

Joe Coleman's website is brilliant. You choose whether you want to read the soft sell ("So, yeah, I'm a freelance copywriter. what of it?") to the full flashing lights treatment! When you go to the site — getcoleman.com — it defaults to somewhere around the middle and you can use a slide to look at all the versions. Do have a look.

Gendered language

One of the reasons this post has gone out later than I should have liked is that I spent some time reading the European Union’s pontifications on gendered language. The document was clearly written by people who either don't understand English or think they can improve on the definitions found in the Oxford English Dictionary (OED). Here are some examples of language it thinks we should change. In the following list, “—>” means replace with.

“Use the pronoun ‘it’ to talk about inanimate objects.” Very helpful, I think you’ll agree.

“Policeman or policewoman —> Police officer” Doesn’t this depend on context? If a woman has been sexually assaulted, wouldn’t she want to talk to a police woman, not just any police officer?

“Bossy or pushy —> Assertive”. Bossy isn’t the same as pushy, and neither are the same as assertive.

“Emotional or hormonal —> Passionate, enthusiastic, empathetic”. Emotional doesn’t mean hormonal, and since when did either word come to mean enthusiastic or empathetic?

“Mumsy —> Dowdy and old fashioned”. According to the OED, “mumsy” means motherly; homely, conventional.

“Virile—> Strong, energetic”. Virile isn’t the same as strong, much less energetic. According to the OED, virile means full of masculine energy or strength; not weak or unmanly.

I could go on and cite more examples, but my point is that if you’re a writer it’s important to use words according to their correct meanings. If you’re a reader then I think you’re entitled to be able to assume that the writer has used the correct words for the meaning he or she wishes to convey.

Review of Gothic

I recently reviewed an exhibition and accompanying book called Fantasy: Realms of Imagination, so it seems only fitting that I should review a book about all things gothic, as there is some overlap.

Click here to see this on Amazon (affiliate link)

This book covers twenty aspects of “Gothic” in this wide-ranging study. But what is meant by “Gothic”? You won’t find a straightforward definition here. As Luckhurst puts it:

“I prefer to see [Gothic] as a collection of ‘travelling tropes’ that, while they originate in a narrow set of European cultures with distinct meanings, have embarked on a journey in which they are both transmitted and utterly transformed as they move across different cultures. Sometimes the Gothic keeps a recognisable shape, but more often it merges with local folklore or beliefs in the supernatural to become a weird, wonderful new hybrid.”

If this makes little sense at the before you start reading the book, it will come to make sense as you roam through the various chapters and sections. My own interpretation is borrowed from the economist’s definition of money: money is what money does. In other words, if it behaves like or is used as money, then it is money. For me, the Gothic is similar: Gothic is as Gothic does. In other words, if watching a film in a cinema makes you wish you’d brought a friend along to walk home with, or reading a story makes you leave all the lights on when you go to bed, then there’s a good chance the film or the story was gothic.

At times the designation of something as Gothic seems to be stretching the definition somewhat, but the author usually has a convincing explanation. For example, how is Godzilla Gothic? One could see it as representing scale, as anything of an unnatural size tends to be frightening in itself. Another approach is to see it as an example of “EcoGothic”, in which nature takes revenge on humankind, whether in the form of a botanical disaster or a giant gorilla. Yet another viewpoint is that films such as Godzilla are allegorical, reflecting the current political or ecological situation.

This book has far more breadth than depth. It covers such a huge range of topics that in a spec of a single paragraph you may find several examples of what the author is talking about. That makes the book a wonderful introduction or starting point for anyone wishing to embark on a literary journey that will scare them half to death. Nevertheless, given that labyrinths are an obvious feature of the Gothic, and is the subject of a section in the book, I’m surprised that there appears to be no mention of the Argentinian writer Borges, in whose stories labyrinths are frequently featured. Perhaps Borges is considered more ludic than Gothic.

Another section features villages, so I was disappointed that an episode of the tv series The Avengers does not appear. Called Murdersville, the story is about a village that will happily bump off anyone for you — all you have to do is get them there. It’s scary in its own way because one does not normally associate sleepy English villages with Murder Incorporated. Still, given that the programme was made nearly sixty years ago, perhaps its omission is not all that surprising.

But these are mere quibbles. This sumptuous feast of a book can be read from beginning to end, or dipped into at random. You will find something – several things — to delight you on every page.

Just don’t read it before going to sleep for the night.

Hamlet ads

If reading about gothic stuff has given you the shivers, these Hamlet cigar TV adverts from the 70s might make you smile.

Elsewhere on Substack

In How I grew my Substack from 439 to 451 in 11 months,

Carlos Greaves

takes a lighthearted and good-natured swipe at all those posts that brag about subscriber numbers.

Meanwhile, I’m still recovering from

Mark R DeLong

’s post about microwaving tea and putting salt in it. Disgusting. Even

Rebecca Holden

balks at the idea of microwaving tea, which is quite something given her execrable approach to the drink of royalty.

Speaking of whom, Rebecca and I write to each other on alternate Wednesdays, and it’s my turn to reply tomorrow. Gulp. So I have to go.

If you enjoyed this post then please share, subscribe or comment, and if you didn’t then don’t say anything.

1. A similar conversation took place last year:

Me: We’ve received a text message. We have to arrange for flea treatment and de-worming.

Receptionist: Ah yes. Would next Tuesday at 10 am suit you?

Me: Excellent. Well that’s Elaine sorted out. Could I book Willow in too?