what an interesting idea! I have never thought of it consciously this way, but yes, solitude has a much more positive, peaceful connotation than isolation.
Mrs T here. Re isolation. I went to St Kilda 30 years ago. We hired a fishing vessel and camped there for a week, just the six of us. I will never forget the sense of total aloneness when I watched the fishing vessel leave with a promise to return the following week. It was a deeply unpleasant feeling. Even though as an introvert I had looked forward to being as without people as I felt safe, I was very relieved to see the vessel re-appear the next week.
It's interesting, though - did you feel so alone out there *because* you were in company? I know you were physically very isolated on St Kilda, with no way of getting off until that boat came back, but I find that I identify with a sense of 'total aloneness' when there are others around more often than when I'm actually alone. I'm never lonely when I'm alone, but I often feel alone when I'm with others.
Hmmm, I've just read that back to myself and it sounds crackers! Still, I think *I* know what I mean! 🤣
Great topic. I have always enjoyed solitude and have written about the subject a number of times. Solitude feels like freedom to me. But the word isolation brings up a negative connotation, one of loneliness-- as Abigail mentions, "not a chosen state." Must go listen to the oboe! Thanks for sharing.💜
Oh, I did like the oboe! And I had another thought on "isolation." Even when isolation is chosen, for example sailors who set out on long solo sailing trips, it is not uncommon for some of them to mentally suffer along the way. I'm of the school of thought that we are not meant to be islands, as they say (since we are speaking of sailing.) 💜
I can see that that might be the case, so maybe it's a question of balance. Self-imposed isolation for months or even weeks at a time might be too much for many of us. The nice thing about being alone for a week or two is that you know it's going to end!
Terry, I love your ponderings. My mother was an Irish immigrant, and would often quote an Irish phrase:"ciúnas gan uaigneas" — solitude without loneliness. So loneliness and emptiness? As your poetry implies where there is emptiness there is space for something; but where there is isolation, that feels more troubling. Not a chosen state but rather something thrust upon someone.
Yes, I think solitude and isolation can be on a continuum, or perhaps more of a teeter-totter (do they have those in your area, not sure what you would call them). This exceptional piece clearly hit the heart of so many readers, well done Terry.
When at first you talked about emptiness I sensed it was foreign to me. Foreign in that I long to feel empty in the best possible way. When I got to your last quote by Berry, that true solitude is found in the wild places, where one is without human obligation, I recognized that is the emptiness I crave yet rarely achieve.
Thanks, Donna. teeter-totter = see-saw in my neck of the woods. "I recognized that is the emptiness I crave yet rarely achieve." Absolutely. I think Berry, and you, have expressed this so well.
Such a great question. I'm inclined to say no -- the feeling of isolation is not emptiness. When I think of emptiness, I tend to think of a certain calm in the surrender. A hollowing out. Accepting I have nothing left to give or nothing left to feel? Almost like an imposed state of rest as I await the will or desire for rejuvenation. Whereby I associate isolation, on the other hand, with a kind of ongoing pain? An awareness of said isolated state taking up space in the psyche. As opposed, of course, to the joys of solitude. Hm.
Thanks, Alicia. I love your phrase, "a certain calm in the surrender". I like two things about it: the "calm" and the "surrender". I, too, associate isolation with pain whereas, like you say (paraphrased), solitude can engender rejuvenation. Yes, the oboe is nice, isn't it?
Oh you're too sweet to even notice it's there! I had been sending that text in my "Welcome" e-mail to new subscribers but figured it might make for a nice landing page -- kind of a "start here" thing for passers through who happen upon my Substack. So I didn't even "publish" it properly except on web. I'll enable comments now. :)
I saw that you had liked a post of mine (thanks!), so I had a look at your home page in case I'd missed an email from you. But you're right: I am quite sweet!
Solitude vs Isolation. Hmm. Isolation has a slight negative ring to it, while solitude can be something very desirable. The isolation of the Covid season didn't affect me much, frankly, as I, myself am a very quiet person and prefer my own company most of the time. I never get lonely, which is a gift, I know. A very thought provoking essay, Terry.
Thanks, Sharron. I rarely get lonely, because I love being on my own. Covid affected me positively -- no need to make excuses for not attending family gatherings, because there weren't any 😂 -- and also negatively, because two elderly relatives were badly affected.
I very much enjoyed this piece, Terry. With the the Covid lockdown, I relished the added time I had for solitude. As if I had an excuse to indulge. It was the compulsory isolation that was the rub. It wasn't solitude.
Thanks, James. Actually, you've reminded me: when lockdown was imposed I was really pleased, because it meant I didn't have to choose between going to social engagements when I just wanted to be quiet at home, and making some lame-sounding excuse!
I think many creatives would choose solitude (some may even choose isolation).
Wendell Berry's quote 'True solitude is found in the wild places, where one is without human obligation...' is probably closest to what I might aim for but then there is part of complete isolation in order to live in solitude that holds me back.
I haven't yet perfected the method inherent in CBT and meditation generally which allows thoughts to drift by. When I do, IF I manage it, then solitude will be a fully desirous state, I think. Currently, there's a traitorous part of my psyche that welcomes just the teensiest bit of peopling, so that I don't live in my head too much.
Does all that make sense?
Many thanks for stirring my old, old old grey matter.
Thanks very much, Prue. I meditate as well, and my meditation is usually full of thoughts, but there is still a great deal of quietude and it's probably the same for you. I like complete solitude, but it's always nice to come back to being with people again! So I think we're on the same wavelength.
Such a beautiful piece, Terry. I really enjoyed the quotes as well and need to read some Gibran.
Agree about isolation is not a choice. I think sometimes they look the same, but the reality of aloneness might be invisible -- a lack of choice in being able to connect with someone else over a certain conflict or having a team to lean on. I adore aloneness and dive into it, but I find that if there are things I'm working through that I'm not comfortable with, isolation comes forward in my mind. It only takes small tweaks to find that solitude again often include - yes - nature. And for me, physical movement as well.
"the reality of aloneness might be invisible -- a lack of choice in being able to connect with someone else over a certain conflict or having a team to lean on." So well expressed, Kathleen, thank you. It's true, we can't know what's really going on for someone, and whether it's the result of a conscious choice.
I definitely find that Nature recharges my batteries (there's been scientific proof too). And movement too, though in my case it tends to be swimming or cycling rather than Yoga.
Gibran: have you not read his work, Kathleen? I'm certain you would love it. Here are some links:
Well? Are you ready for the test? I'll be setting a timed essay soon. Seriously though, have you had a chance to read any? Would love to know what you think
I read the Prophet and Sand and Foam in the late 60s. When I re-visited them in the 90s, they read like completely different books! With my thirty years of experience, I was able to see so much more in them, because I brought much more to the page. Same thing happened with Steppenwolf and Siddhartha, by Hesse.
Yes. Exactly. It calls to mind my relationship with my grandmother as a child. I never liked her much. She was grouchy, short-tempered, strict, impatient. Now, as an adult, I understand why, and I would LOVE to be with her now sitting across the table. I have so many questions. But I "grew into" her too late.
Man, I could write a novel in my Comments field! This one really speaks to me. I’m Australian. Three generations of my family on my mother’s side spent their 18th birthdays based in Coonamble, a remote little place in the middle of wide open spaces, in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know whether this is why those sorts of spaces appeal to me so much, but check out pictures of Birdsville Queensland and you’ll see the open ‘emptiness’ that I adore.
I love the music that you linked - haunting rather than empty but we all respond in different ways.
Isolation definitely relates to the verb ‘isolate’ which, as you say, is an active separation but again, I can understand that people see it in different ways. I’m an introvert so the separation is a place where I can recharge, something positive. But to extroverts, any absence of stimulation possibly feels like isolation...
I could go on and on about this topic, but I’ll leave it here and go reread the post and check out everyone else’s responses. Thanks so much. Real food for thought. And feelings...!
Thanks, Beth. I just looked up Birdsville pictures and that looks like my kind of place! "But to extroverts, any absence of stimulation possibly feels like isolation..." What a profound statement, Beth. I hadn't really thought about that but I'm sure you're right. Extroverts seem to get recharged by being with people, while introverts get recharged by being without people!
I too enjoy the solitude of a winter beach, a solo sail, a walk in the woods. It is, as you say different from isolation. I like the Rosa quote "Be silent unless what you have to say is better than silence."
Very thought provoking, Terry. Solitude is a big part of my life. It is necessary for me to recharge and recover and feel at peace, which some people need, others don't.
But I enjoy the solitude of still being part of something, and maybe that's what Claudia managed to articulate better than I could ever manage.
It sounds like you're an introvert like me, Nathan, and like a lot of writers in fact. WE need "alone time" to recharge our batteries. But as you say, and as Claudia put it so eloquently, "The feeling of isolation comes from an inability to connect with the world around. We enjoy being alone because we are never truly alone."
Lovely imagery and reflection. For me, solitude is often good - I grew up and an only child so that might be part of it. But I also am quite happy being in my head in thought-land, even when its melancholic and broody.
Such a thought-provoking post, Terry - thank you. Until just now the only Vaughan-Williams piece I knew had been 'Lark Ascending' - thank you for introducing me to 'In the Fen Country'.
Isolation is a desperate state of affairs. I have felt isolated not only in (forced) isolation but also in seemingly very sociable contexts, and I can't even tell you which felt worse. For context, I am the most antisocial person I know, which makes the former circumstances I've described surprising and the latter very much less so!
Thanks, Rebecca. Elaine says swing with this one time: https://youtu.be/RQoP9iLwoos -- Vaughan Williams Dives and Lazarus. I hadn't heard of it, but am listening now and it's lovely. I bet I'm more antisocial than you are: I refuse even to talk to MYSELF! You've reminded me of a funny episode, which I shall relate in tomorrow's Start the Week.
I agree that isolation is horrible. Perhaps it feels worse when it's not of our choosing.
Appreciate the discussion, Terry. Am a big fan of solitude too-almost insuring I have this space to myself, when it's found.
But isolation, fairly scares me. The pandemic shook me well, seeing the effects of isolating people at their most vulnerable. People were the balm, medicine-less so.
Thanks, Just (I hope first name is acceptable 😁). The lockdown/pandemic was awful. I had elderly relatives who were really badly affected by it. Awful.
what an interesting idea! I have never thought of it consciously this way, but yes, solitude has a much more positive, peaceful connotation than isolation.
Thanks Noha. I think there's a subtle but profound difference between the two words
Mrs T here. Re isolation. I went to St Kilda 30 years ago. We hired a fishing vessel and camped there for a week, just the six of us. I will never forget the sense of total aloneness when I watched the fishing vessel leave with a promise to return the following week. It was a deeply unpleasant feeling. Even though as an introvert I had looked forward to being as without people as I felt safe, I was very relieved to see the vessel re-appear the next week.
Oh wow! I think that would be a step tooooo far for me, too... 🫣
Mrs T here. It was too much for me as well. Never again!
🤣
It's interesting, though - did you feel so alone out there *because* you were in company? I know you were physically very isolated on St Kilda, with no way of getting off until that boat came back, but I find that I identify with a sense of 'total aloneness' when there are others around more often than when I'm actually alone. I'm never lonely when I'm alone, but I often feel alone when I'm with others.
Hmmm, I've just read that back to myself and it sounds crackers! Still, I think *I* know what I mean! 🤣
Terry here. I'll ask the boss what she thinks and get back to you. Sorry to keep you waiting. Your comment is important to us.
🤣
Great topic. I have always enjoyed solitude and have written about the subject a number of times. Solitude feels like freedom to me. But the word isolation brings up a negative connotation, one of loneliness-- as Abigail mentions, "not a chosen state." Must go listen to the oboe! Thanks for sharing.💜
Thanks, Sue. I agree about the negative connotation and lack of choice associated with the term "isolation". Hope you like the oboe!
Oh, I did like the oboe! And I had another thought on "isolation." Even when isolation is chosen, for example sailors who set out on long solo sailing trips, it is not uncommon for some of them to mentally suffer along the way. I'm of the school of thought that we are not meant to be islands, as they say (since we are speaking of sailing.) 💜
I can see that that might be the case, so maybe it's a question of balance. Self-imposed isolation for months or even weeks at a time might be too much for many of us. The nice thing about being alone for a week or two is that you know it's going to end!
Yes, that's likely the key, balance. I adore my alone time, but I understand how fortunate I am that it's a choice. 💜
definitely; well put, Sue
Terry, I love your ponderings. My mother was an Irish immigrant, and would often quote an Irish phrase:"ciúnas gan uaigneas" — solitude without loneliness. So loneliness and emptiness? As your poetry implies where there is emptiness there is space for something; but where there is isolation, that feels more troubling. Not a chosen state but rather something thrust upon someone.
Very nicely put, Abigail. Thanks for kind words. I love that Irish expression: brilliant.
Yes, I think solitude and isolation can be on a continuum, or perhaps more of a teeter-totter (do they have those in your area, not sure what you would call them). This exceptional piece clearly hit the heart of so many readers, well done Terry.
When at first you talked about emptiness I sensed it was foreign to me. Foreign in that I long to feel empty in the best possible way. When I got to your last quote by Berry, that true solitude is found in the wild places, where one is without human obligation, I recognized that is the emptiness I crave yet rarely achieve.
Thank you for this brilliant work.
Thanks, Donna. teeter-totter = see-saw in my neck of the woods. "I recognized that is the emptiness I crave yet rarely achieve." Absolutely. I think Berry, and you, have expressed this so well.
Such a great question. I'm inclined to say no -- the feeling of isolation is not emptiness. When I think of emptiness, I tend to think of a certain calm in the surrender. A hollowing out. Accepting I have nothing left to give or nothing left to feel? Almost like an imposed state of rest as I await the will or desire for rejuvenation. Whereby I associate isolation, on the other hand, with a kind of ongoing pain? An awareness of said isolated state taking up space in the psyche. As opposed, of course, to the joys of solitude. Hm.
Love the oboe. :)
Thanks, Alicia. I love your phrase, "a certain calm in the surrender". I like two things about it: the "calm" and the "surrender". I, too, associate isolation with pain whereas, like you say (paraphrased), solitude can engender rejuvenation. Yes, the oboe is nice, isn't it?
Thanks Alicia. I'll respond when I'm feeling more compos mentos. Why can't I comment on your beautiful micro essay? 😢
Oh you're too sweet to even notice it's there! I had been sending that text in my "Welcome" e-mail to new subscribers but figured it might make for a nice landing page -- kind of a "start here" thing for passers through who happen upon my Substack. So I didn't even "publish" it properly except on web. I'll enable comments now. :)
I saw that you had liked a post of mine (thanks!), so I had a look at your home page in case I'd missed an email from you. But you're right: I am quite sweet!
Solitude vs Isolation. Hmm. Isolation has a slight negative ring to it, while solitude can be something very desirable. The isolation of the Covid season didn't affect me much, frankly, as I, myself am a very quiet person and prefer my own company most of the time. I never get lonely, which is a gift, I know. A very thought provoking essay, Terry.
Thanks, Sharron. I rarely get lonely, because I love being on my own. Covid affected me positively -- no need to make excuses for not attending family gatherings, because there weren't any 😂 -- and also negatively, because two elderly relatives were badly affected.
It was certainly a memorable two years...
That's one way of putting it!
Thanks Sharron, will respond properly when I'm not half asleep
I very much enjoyed this piece, Terry. With the the Covid lockdown, I relished the added time I had for solitude. As if I had an excuse to indulge. It was the compulsory isolation that was the rub. It wasn't solitude.
Thanks, James. Actually, you've reminded me: when lockdown was imposed I was really pleased, because it meant I didn't have to choose between going to social engagements when I just wanted to be quiet at home, and making some lame-sounding excuse!
Ditto.
Agreed.
Gosh Terry, a seriously thought-provoking piece.
I think many creatives would choose solitude (some may even choose isolation).
Wendell Berry's quote 'True solitude is found in the wild places, where one is without human obligation...' is probably closest to what I might aim for but then there is part of complete isolation in order to live in solitude that holds me back.
I haven't yet perfected the method inherent in CBT and meditation generally which allows thoughts to drift by. When I do, IF I manage it, then solitude will be a fully desirous state, I think. Currently, there's a traitorous part of my psyche that welcomes just the teensiest bit of peopling, so that I don't live in my head too much.
Does all that make sense?
Many thanks for stirring my old, old old grey matter.
Thanks very much, Prue. I meditate as well, and my meditation is usually full of thoughts, but there is still a great deal of quietude and it's probably the same for you. I like complete solitude, but it's always nice to come back to being with people again! So I think we're on the same wavelength.
Such a beautiful piece, Terry. I really enjoyed the quotes as well and need to read some Gibran.
Agree about isolation is not a choice. I think sometimes they look the same, but the reality of aloneness might be invisible -- a lack of choice in being able to connect with someone else over a certain conflict or having a team to lean on. I adore aloneness and dive into it, but I find that if there are things I'm working through that I'm not comfortable with, isolation comes forward in my mind. It only takes small tweaks to find that solitude again often include - yes - nature. And for me, physical movement as well.
"the reality of aloneness might be invisible -- a lack of choice in being able to connect with someone else over a certain conflict or having a team to lean on." So well expressed, Kathleen, thank you. It's true, we can't know what's really going on for someone, and whether it's the result of a conscious choice.
I definitely find that Nature recharges my batteries (there's been scientific proof too). And movement too, though in my case it tends to be swimming or cycling rather than Yoga.
Gibran: have you not read his work, Kathleen? I'm certain you would love it. Here are some links:
Sand and foam: http://www-personal.umich.edu/~jrcole/gibran/sandfoam/sandfoam.htm
The Madman: http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks05/0500601h.html which includes one of my favourite stories of all time, The Gravedigger: http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks05/0500601h.html#19
And, of course, his most famous book, The Prophet: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/58585/58585-h/58585-h.htm
Thank you for the links! No I have not. Been meaning to so thanks very much 😊
There will be a short test in a week's time, Kathleen.
lol. no. haha
Well? Are you ready for the test? I'll be setting a timed essay soon. Seriously though, have you had a chance to read any? Would love to know what you think
I’m in the middle of a few things 🤪 but it’s definitely something I want to look at soon!! I will let you know 😁 (also feel free to pester haha)
I read the Prophet and Sand and Foam in the late 60s. When I re-visited them in the 90s, they read like completely different books! With my thirty years of experience, I was able to see so much more in them, because I brought much more to the page. Same thing happened with Steppenwolf and Siddhartha, by Hesse.
Same here, Sharron. I think he was wise beyond his years, and I feel that in some ways I've grown into him as my spiritual experience has deepened.
Yes. Exactly. It calls to mind my relationship with my grandmother as a child. I never liked her much. She was grouchy, short-tempered, strict, impatient. Now, as an adult, I understand why, and I would LOVE to be with her now sitting across the table. I have so many questions. But I "grew into" her too late.
So sad. It's frustrating that we seem to achieve wisdom when we could have done with it sooner!
Man, I could write a novel in my Comments field! This one really speaks to me. I’m Australian. Three generations of my family on my mother’s side spent their 18th birthdays based in Coonamble, a remote little place in the middle of wide open spaces, in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know whether this is why those sorts of spaces appeal to me so much, but check out pictures of Birdsville Queensland and you’ll see the open ‘emptiness’ that I adore.
I love the music that you linked - haunting rather than empty but we all respond in different ways.
Isolation definitely relates to the verb ‘isolate’ which, as you say, is an active separation but again, I can understand that people see it in different ways. I’m an introvert so the separation is a place where I can recharge, something positive. But to extroverts, any absence of stimulation possibly feels like isolation...
I could go on and on about this topic, but I’ll leave it here and go reread the post and check out everyone else’s responses. Thanks so much. Real food for thought. And feelings...!
Thanks, Beth. I just looked up Birdsville pictures and that looks like my kind of place! "But to extroverts, any absence of stimulation possibly feels like isolation..." What a profound statement, Beth. I hadn't really thought about that but I'm sure you're right. Extroverts seem to get recharged by being with people, while introverts get recharged by being without people!
I too enjoy the solitude of a winter beach, a solo sail, a walk in the woods. It is, as you say different from isolation. I like the Rosa quote "Be silent unless what you have to say is better than silence."
Thanks for the "thinks" Terry.
Thanks, Jim. I think it's a great quote. I use it as a gauge when I'm thinking of contributing to a discussion.
Very thought provoking, Terry. Solitude is a big part of my life. It is necessary for me to recharge and recover and feel at peace, which some people need, others don't.
But I enjoy the solitude of still being part of something, and maybe that's what Claudia managed to articulate better than I could ever manage.
It sounds like you're an introvert like me, Nathan, and like a lot of writers in fact. WE need "alone time" to recharge our batteries. But as you say, and as Claudia put it so eloquently, "The feeling of isolation comes from an inability to connect with the world around. We enjoy being alone because we are never truly alone."
Lovely imagery and reflection. For me, solitude is often good - I grew up and an only child so that might be part of it. But I also am quite happy being in my head in thought-land, even when its melancholic and broody.
Thanks Justin, me too. I like being alone, and quite often am, even in company.
Such a thought-provoking post, Terry - thank you. Until just now the only Vaughan-Williams piece I knew had been 'Lark Ascending' - thank you for introducing me to 'In the Fen Country'.
Isolation is a desperate state of affairs. I have felt isolated not only in (forced) isolation but also in seemingly very sociable contexts, and I can't even tell you which felt worse. For context, I am the most antisocial person I know, which makes the former circumstances I've described surprising and the latter very much less so!
I enjoy and appreciate solitude.
Thanks, Rebecca. Elaine says swing with this one time: https://youtu.be/RQoP9iLwoos -- Vaughan Williams Dives and Lazarus. I hadn't heard of it, but am listening now and it's lovely. I bet I'm more antisocial than you are: I refuse even to talk to MYSELF! You've reminded me of a funny episode, which I shall relate in tomorrow's Start the Week.
I agree that isolation is horrible. Perhaps it feels worse when it's not of our choosing.
You don't talk to YOURSELF, Terry? That's the only way that I can demonstrate to those around me that I'm bonkers - how would they know otherwise? 🤣
It's ok to talk to yourself, Becks. The time to worry is when you start answering yourself😁
🤣
Appreciate the discussion, Terry. Am a big fan of solitude too-almost insuring I have this space to myself, when it's found.
But isolation, fairly scares me. The pandemic shook me well, seeing the effects of isolating people at their most vulnerable. People were the balm, medicine-less so.
So enjoy the interaction, when returning.
Thanks, Just (I hope first name is acceptable 😁). The lockdown/pandemic was awful. I had elderly relatives who were really badly affected by it. Awful.