Such an interesting comparison, Terry - I find these posts fascinating!
Whatever did the editor have against the phrase 'inadvertent sexism'? 🤔
Ditto Jeanne's comment about 'hackneyed' being better than 'hackney' - I'd assumed that your use of 'hackney' had been down to autocorrect or something!
I preferred your unedited review - I feel that quite a lot of YOU got edited when your words did. And that won't do AT ALL, in my opinion. 😊
I prefer your original. The second is dumbed down a bit and it took out the first joke which sets the mood. What I mean by dumbed down is it took direct or specific statements and made them less so. 'Sexism' to 'causing offence' and 'this would suit' to 'this might suit'. The second one did improve the hackney sentence to hackneyed which read better. Overall the first is stronger because it is more confident and reflects your style of humor. They took away some of your style.
I liked your version better. There's one or two sentences I think in the edited version that seemed to sound better to me though.
I found this difference checker and used the free version to match it up:
https://www.diffchecker.com/
Best way to answer is to read Rebecca and Terry's exchange below! Go guys!
Such an interesting comparison, Terry - I find these posts fascinating!
Whatever did the editor have against the phrase 'inadvertent sexism'? 🤔
Ditto Jeanne's comment about 'hackneyed' being better than 'hackney' - I'd assumed that your use of 'hackney' had been down to autocorrect or something!
I preferred your unedited review - I feel that quite a lot of YOU got edited when your words did. And that won't do AT ALL, in my opinion. 😊
I prefer your original. The second is dumbed down a bit and it took out the first joke which sets the mood. What I mean by dumbed down is it took direct or specific statements and made them less so. 'Sexism' to 'causing offence' and 'this would suit' to 'this might suit'. The second one did improve the hackney sentence to hackneyed which read better. Overall the first is stronger because it is more confident and reflects your style of humor. They took away some of your style.
Thank you!