Thanks to everyone who commented on this, especially those of you who responded in like fashion! Apologies if it managed to give people their first headache of 2024. Here is the fully deciphered, ie original, text. It's not humorous in itself, but I think you will agree that in the context of my actual post, it is mildly chortleworthy! Stand by...
Not start the week
the perils of not being able to touch-type
It is to my everlasting regret that I have never learned to touch type. Certainly, I’ve tried in the past. Years and years ago I won £50 on the Premium Bonds. That was a lot of money back then, and so we splashed out on a portable typewriter. It made sense, because my sister was a secretary, I was a nascent writer, and my mother wanted a hobby and a challenge. As it happens, that typewriter is in my loft somewhere, still in almost pristine condition.
My mother set to it, and I did too – encouraged by her as a matter of fact. But whereas my mother kept at it, and achieved a high level of proficiency, I became bored very rapidly and went back to two-fingered typing.
Ironically, years later I found myself in charge (“teaching” would be something of an exaggeration) of a class of girls learning how to touch type to the rhythm of some sort of special typing sound effects record.
But these days I regret my laxity in the realm of keyboarding skills, because of the situation in which I find myself. In a nutshell it is this: I can type fast without being accurate, or I can type accurately without being fast. It sounds like a Johnsonian or Wildean aphorism, but this is my life. A moment or two of commiseration on your part would not come amiss, if you don’t mind my saying so.
Ah, you say, but there is always the spell-checker. And yes, I say in response, but sometimes my typos are so gobsmackingly dreadful that the spell-checker scratches its head and then, once steam begins to be emitted from its innards, gives up the ghost. I am utterly convinced that one of these days I shall see displayed the hitherto unencountered error message: You’re having a laugh, mate.
That is why this week there is no “Start the Week”. I wanted to share my travails with you, dear reader, in the hope of a bit of sympathy. It was either that or embarking on a serialised misery memoir. Perhaps I will enrol on a crash touch-typing course. If so, and if I pass with flying colours, I will be back soon with more of my usual fare.
And I thought it was just my jetlag from landing back in Melbourne this morning (side note: really sorry we didn't get to catch up, Terry. I wanted to make it happen, but things ended up being very hectic for various reasons, and my time in London was short and I couldn't get away from family for enough time. Really sorry. Next time for sure.)
I haven't read down to see (or stared at words for long enough), but did you use any rules here for the jumbled letters in the words? E.g. switch second with first, always preserve the last etc?
I remember reading that if the first and last letter are preserved, then words can be jumbled as much as you like and it's still readable.
If yuo raed tihs tehn yuo cna see waht I maen -- lngoer wrdos wulod be bteetr of curose.
Whew! Thanks, Terry. I commiserate totally. I, myself, took a typing class in high school (back in the neolithic age). The young man in charge (“teacher” would be something of an exaggeration)... was cute and charming and only about five years older than us girls. I spent every class gazing at him dreamily. I was lucky to pass the course; I learned very little about typing, but a lot about fantasizing.
I was thinking about you as my attempt at humor fell flat in my last post. I needed Terry Tips as I had to go back and edit the post to clarify that I wasn't serious
Whoa! Happy New Year to you, too, Terry! This was a challenge: some words flowed effortlessly in my head, others were "what . . . . . . ?" My brain chewed on this one!!! 😄
I heard the US released its latest UFO report last night. I see now what they were saying about an undecipherable alien language spoken by those among us who are of other stars is true. eTrry you're one of them aren't you. 01012024 ednide. Welcome to Earth.
PS I meant to thank you for mentioning me in your Note, which I can't find now. You're righht: it's the connections that matter, not the dosh. Mind you, a bit of dosh is most welcome!
Typo-free sounds like a new diet 😜 I like good sci-fi too. IMHO a lot that's published these days is rather formulaic; I do like the sci-fi classics but also some of the new works. Read Project Hail Mary last year, loved it. And you'll be tickled to know I'm working on my first sci-fi novel. It's going to be ... very non formulaic :)
Thinking about it. I really might, on The Muse. But not till after it's done, bc the way I write is akin to weaving a tapestry... I don't do multiple drafts... I write in multiple threads and weave them together.
I read the first sentence and you exposed my dyslexia to the max! Whoa! I can't remember the last time I felt that primal fear so viscerally. Thank you for reminding me that end of the spectrum of fear. You must have worked really hard to get this one written. Happy New Year, my friend.
ha ha ha! I'm with you,Jeanne. I got two paragraphs in and decided my life is already challenging enough just doing the Wordle. BUT, then I thought, what if Terry has buried a secret treasure within this text, like a hidden gift offer of $1,000 if I stick with it...?
Greetings!
Thanks to everyone who commented on this, especially those of you who responded in like fashion! Apologies if it managed to give people their first headache of 2024. Here is the fully deciphered, ie original, text. It's not humorous in itself, but I think you will agree that in the context of my actual post, it is mildly chortleworthy! Stand by...
Not start the week
the perils of not being able to touch-type
It is to my everlasting regret that I have never learned to touch type. Certainly, I’ve tried in the past. Years and years ago I won £50 on the Premium Bonds. That was a lot of money back then, and so we splashed out on a portable typewriter. It made sense, because my sister was a secretary, I was a nascent writer, and my mother wanted a hobby and a challenge. As it happens, that typewriter is in my loft somewhere, still in almost pristine condition.
My mother set to it, and I did too – encouraged by her as a matter of fact. But whereas my mother kept at it, and achieved a high level of proficiency, I became bored very rapidly and went back to two-fingered typing.
Ironically, years later I found myself in charge (“teaching” would be something of an exaggeration) of a class of girls learning how to touch type to the rhythm of some sort of special typing sound effects record.
But these days I regret my laxity in the realm of keyboarding skills, because of the situation in which I find myself. In a nutshell it is this: I can type fast without being accurate, or I can type accurately without being fast. It sounds like a Johnsonian or Wildean aphorism, but this is my life. A moment or two of commiseration on your part would not come amiss, if you don’t mind my saying so.
Ah, you say, but there is always the spell-checker. And yes, I say in response, but sometimes my typos are so gobsmackingly dreadful that the spell-checker scratches its head and then, once steam begins to be emitted from its innards, gives up the ghost. I am utterly convinced that one of these days I shall see displayed the hitherto unencountered error message: You’re having a laugh, mate.
That is why this week there is no “Start the Week”. I wanted to share my travails with you, dear reader, in the hope of a bit of sympathy. It was either that or embarking on a serialised misery memoir. Perhaps I will enrol on a crash touch-typing course. If so, and if I pass with flying colours, I will be back soon with more of my usual fare.
In the meantime, Happy New Year!
And I thought it was just my jetlag from landing back in Melbourne this morning (side note: really sorry we didn't get to catch up, Terry. I wanted to make it happen, but things ended up being very hectic for various reasons, and my time in London was short and I couldn't get away from family for enough time. Really sorry. Next time for sure.)
I haven't read down to see (or stared at words for long enough), but did you use any rules here for the jumbled letters in the words? E.g. switch second with first, always preserve the last etc?
I remember reading that if the first and last letter are preserved, then words can be jumbled as much as you like and it's still readable.
If yuo raed tihs tehn yuo cna see waht I maen -- lngoer wrdos wulod be bteetr of curose.
Thanks, Nathan. Yes, was a shame we couldn't meet up, but you had already said it was a hectic schedule, and anyway family comes first.
I switched every pair of letters on the whole, but I am not happy with the result. I will explain in a future post.
Hope jet lag subsides soon!
Thanks Terry. Behind on your posts. Hoping to catch up today :)
Typical.
:P
😂
I thought it was to be a version of bumping your head. In trying to decipher I felt I bumped my head. Hehe.
And to think, you could have been a spy.
😂I was thinking of doing a typo version of that! Hope your head is ok now! Happy new year 😊
Whew! Thanks, Terry. I commiserate totally. I, myself, took a typing class in high school (back in the neolithic age). The young man in charge (“teacher” would be something of an exaggeration)... was cute and charming and only about five years older than us girls. I spent every class gazing at him dreamily. I was lucky to pass the course; I learned very little about typing, but a lot about fantasizing.
LOL. You weren't in my class were you? Chortle!
Hah! You weren't even born yet....
I was an early developer
dooG doG. NHY.
😂 thanks Reno 😊 u2
And have you seen your doctor? :)
He's in a worse state than I am!
Such a fitting response.LOL
I was thinking about you as my attempt at humor fell flat in my last post. I needed Terry Tips as I had to go back and edit the post to clarify that I wasn't serious
I missed that, sorry.
Nothing to be sorry was just sharing that I need to take cues from your writing!
Ho ym! Htta idi igev em a lbsaitgn ehdacaeh!Htnask ubt on htnask! Noyl Etryr acn htnik fo htsi😊 Ahpypw Enw Eyra!
Hahaha 😂 That's cos I'm more useless at typing than other people! Thanks Anu, sorry for headache,! take an aspirin. Happy new year!
It’s a literary headache, Terry, and I welcome them! You know that:) Keep them coming!
LOL Thanks, Anu!
Whoa! Happy New Year to you, too, Terry! This was a challenge: some words flowed effortlessly in my head, others were "what . . . . . . ?" My brain chewed on this one!!! 😄
Thanks, Mary! Happy new year! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
I heard the US released its latest UFO report last night. I see now what they were saying about an undecipherable alien language spoken by those among us who are of other stars is true. eTrry you're one of them aren't you. 01012024 ednide. Welcome to Earth.
PS I meant to thank you for mentioning me in your Note, which I can't find now. You're righht: it's the connections that matter, not the dosh. Mind you, a bit of dosh is most welcome!
Oh, it was a post not a Note, here it is >> https://themuse.substack.com/p/there-and-back-again-2023-and-2024 (and you are most welcome! You were one of the very first people I connected with here)
No wonder I couldn't find it. Thanks. Really?
Yes! It was in office hours :)
Oh yes. What an amazing memory you have.
Hahaha! I'm a big sci-fi fan as it happens, Birgitte. :-) Happy new year! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
Typo-free sounds like a new diet 😜 I like good sci-fi too. IMHO a lot that's published these days is rather formulaic; I do like the sci-fi classics but also some of the new works. Read Project Hail Mary last year, loved it. And you'll be tickled to know I'm working on my first sci-fi novel. It's going to be ... very non formulaic :)
Typo-free diet: 😂 looking forward to reading your sci fi novel. Will you be serialising it?
Thinking about it. I really might, on The Muse. But not till after it's done, bc the way I write is akin to weaving a tapestry... I don't do multiple drafts... I write in multiple threads and weave them together.
I do that too!
taWh a ywa ot tstra hte wNe raYe!!
hCrolte! Happy new year! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
dooG doG, nam! I ma igogn fof ni chaers fo a destaeiv nad a npa..... nI hte emnaitem, aHppy eNw eYra ot oyu oot!
oLL! Thanks, Sharron. Happy new year! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
I read the first sentence and you exposed my dyslexia to the max! Whoa! I can't remember the last time I felt that primal fear so viscerally. Thank you for reminding me that end of the spectrum of fear. You must have worked really hard to get this one written. Happy New Year, my friend.
Blimey. Sorry, Jody. I didn't mean to trigger anybody. Happy new year! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
I wasn't triggered. I was delighted. It isn't every day we run into something that reminds us of our limitations. Great work.
You mean like Dirty Harry? ("A man's got to know his limitations.") 😂 Thanks, Jody!
Do you feel lucky, punk?
😂😂
Oh my goodness, noooo! I felt like I was in a Murdle scenario!
FLOR! Happy new year, June! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
Bilemy, Trery, hvae ouy bene no the nwe yaer's suace? Hvae a lei dwon, fro godoesns skae!
fawfuG! Thanks, Rebecca. Happy new year! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
Thank goodness for that! 🤣
Chortle
ttoDi hatt!
OLL!
Every email I sent from a club to my lecturers at 2am saying I won’t make it to tomorrow’s seminar be like
🤣 Happy new year, Ani! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
🤣
😂
I lsao esu wot ro urof gifnsre newh yptgin fuletnotryua. tBu I ltsil veha trpyet ogdo epdes. kTsnah arde rTyer. aHppy eNw eYra! 🤗🤗
OLL! Thanks, Beth. Happy new year! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
I could, but I’m not gonna. Happy New Years Terry!
I don't blame you, June! Happy new year! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
ha ha ha! I'm with you,Jeanne. I got two paragraphs in and decided my life is already challenging enough just doing the Wordle. BUT, then I thought, what if Terry has buried a secret treasure within this text, like a hidden gift offer of $1,000 if I stick with it...?
secret treasure?? LOL 🤣
hahaha I almost tried just to see how persiflage was spelled in inverted words. But still nope.
epsrfialeg!
Well I got the last three words of it. Ha ha!
aHppy eNw eYra!
Well done! LLO! Happy new year! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
LOL. And to you, Olga. Well here's a clue: it's about the fact that I regret not being able to touch-type, because of all the errors I make.
Gaaah! Give me a drink, someone!!!!
LLO! Happy new year, Prue! I've pinned a comment containing the typo-free version!
Terry's clearly already made a start, Prue.... I'm not sure there'll be any left for us at this rate! 🤣
🤣😂
Except for that wee bottle of Scotch I keep in my medicine cabinet...you know, for emergencies.
🤣
Ah, yes. 😂🤣
I didn't understand that, I presume you meant aGaah! iGev em a rdnik, osemnoe!!!!
?
Oh my giddy aunt... or worse words to that effect.
😂
uOhc! hTta uhtr!
LOL. Sorry, Mark! Happy new year!