Dear Rebecca
My idea of romanticism
Thank you for your lovely letter. Before I go any further, I should like to draw your attention to the photograph above. It was taken inside a station — Westminster, if my memory serves me well. You, Rebecca, take beautiful photos of country scenes, and I have to say I, being a romantic at heart, love a nice landscape or seascape.
However, I also like industrial landscapes and urban settings. Indeed, one of my favourite poems is A Calvinist in Love, by Jack Clemo. None of all that wishy-washy lovey-dovey stuff that 15 year-old girls like to write (or so I’ve heard), but proper, manly stuff. I mean check this out:
I care no more for fickle moonlight:
Would rather see
Your face touch me
Under a claywork dune-light.
Now that’s what I call romantic. You can read the rest of it here:
A Calvinist in Love, by Jack Clemo.
I mention this because not only was your letter to me written on graph paper — graph paper! — but you added insult to injury by telling me you wouldn’t send me scented letters. Actually, I’m quite pleased because I’d have a hard time explaining that:
Elaine: Oh yeah?
Me: Just another letter from a besotted fan, dear. It’s the price one pays for fame.
Apologies
I’m sorry this letter is a day late. Yesterday was quite fraught. A few days ago I had a very traumatic experience: I ran out tea. More precisely, I ran out of decent tea. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t gamble and I don’t womanise (come to think of it, what a boring existence). My one indulgence is decent tea.
As I had to go into London anyway because I’d been invited to an Authors Awards evening, I thought I’d buy some tea and get a haircut. Actually, I got them all cut as it seemed silly going for just one. Back to the Awards: I wasn’t one of the recipients or even shortlisted, but then I haven’t written a book recently and so my unwritten book wasn’t submitted.
I needed a haircut pretty desperately. See below for before and after pictures:
I took a couple of photos of the tea situation:
It’s quite obvious that the tea on the left started out life as floor sweepings, but that someone had the brilliant idea of putting it into packets labelled “Assam Tea”. I had to survive for a whole day on that muck. I needed a tea transfusion once I arrived home last night.
Then this morning I had to take my brother to the vet for a blood test. The girls there were saying to each other “Ooh, isn’t he gorgeous, he’s lovely”. It took me a few minutes to realise they were talking about the cat. Willow is the one on the right in the picture below:
On the subject of cats, I am no longer on speaking terms with our two female cats. One (Mocha) lies on me at night, thereby pinning me down. The other (Minty) uses me as a trampoline. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I momentarily left the butter dish uncovered the other day, and the next thing I knew Minty’s snout was in it.
Well, I put my foot down. Look, I said to Elaine, either they go or I do.
I’ve just finished packing.
Get packing
Which reminds me. I enjoyed reading about your packing list and how you forgot some essentials. Well, as I mentioned in a comment on that post, I once forgot the suitcase itself. It is an important lesson to learn: always include the case.
Now, about my profile…
Now, one does not wish to come across as a whinger, but I have a complaint. Your silhouette, which was very deftly drawn — was that meant to be me? Because it looks like you have somehow failed to capture my dynamism, the remorseless precision of my profile. Oh well.
Spring is in the air
Spring definitely is springing. I loved your recording of a robin singing. We have a friendly robin in our garden. He waits until I’ve filled up the birdfeeders, then comes out and has a good scoff. We bumped into someone in a local park a few years ago who was feeding a robin by hand. He said that he goes to the park at the same time every day and the robin comes out to meet him in order to be fed nuts and raisins. Nice, isn’t it?
We have daffodils springing up, which reminds me: were you force fed Daffodils, the poem, in school? I was. Did you know that Wordsworth’s sister Dorothy used to accompany him on his rambles, and take notes which Billie later relied on to write his stuff. He was devoted to her apparently, but we don’t hear much about her role do we?
I’m not a great lover of that poem anyway, and believe it was much improved by Mad Magazine’s version: “I wandered lonely as a clod”:
I wandered lonely as a clod,
Just picking up old rags and bottles,
When onward on my way I plod,
I saw a host of axolotls;
You can read the rest here: I wandered lonely as a clod.
Puddlegate
For the benefit of newcomers to this correspondence (to whom I should like to say: you do realise it’s rude to read other people’s post, right?), here is a quick pictorial recap of the drainage situation at my local bus stop, all of which has been carefully documented in my letters (an index for which may be found online — see the link towards the end of this letter):
The situation now is that the scope of the puddle has been reduced, but there is still a problem, as amply demonstrated by this video:
How to read
Mary Tabor, of Only Connect, has kindly published a guest post of mine on the subject of how to read efficiently. It mainly applies to nonfiction but do check it out (and to anyone else reading this, have a good rummage around the rest of Mary’s site).
Which reminds me: I have a ton1 of reading to catch up so I will love you and leave you. And once again, sorry that this epistle is late.
As for all you eavesdroppers out there, do make sure you subscribe to Rebecca’s newsletter in order to not miss her reply:
And if you’re catching up, there’s an index to the letters on Rebecca’s site and also here:
All the best
Terry x
Note that I am old school: “tonne”? Don’t make me laugh. I know my rights.
Oh running out of tea! Also love the cat drawings. It’s as if we have the same three cats. At least it looks that way in the pictures.
I had to laugh at this post Terry. When I first started reading the part about taking your brother to the vet. I thought what the heck?! You had me there for a sec.
Your haircut drawings are hilarious. I actually burst out laughing when I saw them. The one on the left reminds me of someone (not me).
On the suitcase front, forgetting it is a bit puzzling. Who forgets their suitcase? If you're going on a trip, you would think you would remember that you need clothes, etc. Maybe your mind was confused on that day.
That is a winner advertisement in my book. It wasn't what I was expecting to happen. That driver sure got what was due of him.