Letter to Rebecca #25-01

New Year, New Numbering. OMG, the excitement!

Lonely landscapes, rotten rhyming, and a word beginning with ‘g’ that means ‘wicked’ game-playing. Yes, it’s Terry’s letter to Rebecca again!

Yo, Becks

How’s it hanging? Did you have a nice Christmas? I had two wonderful experiences. The first was when it was all over, which meant that I didn’t have to listen to supermarkets belting out carols. The second was when our family party was over. Oh yes, alright, I like the people, and I had good discussions and one or two laughs, but there’s only so much happiness and jollity I can tolerate. Not for me the sunlit uplands, but the rain-drizzled streets of an urban environment, like this gorgeous picture from

Ann Kennedy Smith

:

Incidentally, I just subscribed to her newsletter, even though I haven’t read any of her articles yet. Why, I hear you ask. Because she writes for Slightly Foxed and the Times Literary Supplement, both of which publications I enjoy reading.

Your shark whisperer comment reminded me of a verse from It Ain’t Necessarily So:

Now Jonah he lived in a whale

That Jonah he lived in a whale

He made his home in

A fish’s abdomen

I like the Ogden Nashesque rhyme, and choose to overlook the fact that a whale isn’t a fish. It’s all about poetic licence, Becks. “Shark” wouldn’t have worked. I hope I have mansplained that enough, but if not there’s plenty more where that came from. Speaking of which, last week in Freedman Towers I was demonstrating to Elaine how I clean the kitchen table in such a way that going to the gym is unnecessary:

Me: You see, Elaine, instead of just using my arms, I push from the hips, thereby using my whole torso. By gyrating my hips instead of only my arms, I am also working on reducing any abdominal fat that may be present in my otherwise slim and svelte frame.

Elaine: You know, sometimes there is a grain of truth amongst all the rubbish you spout.

I liked your brush lettering: very beautiful. If you get fed up with all that effort, install a font called Brush Script:

I shall have to check out the books of Mark Wallington you’ve mentioned a few times. They sound great. Or, in teen speak (because I’m younger than I look), GOAT, which means Greatest Of All Time.

Have you ever had anything go viral, apart from a cold? I once did a cartoon depicting what I thought about “big data”, which was all the rage at the time, and that went viral(ish):

Big Data Infographic, by Terry Freedman

Finally, vindicated at last! Do you recall my telling you how I used Monopoly to I demonstrate to students why a workers’ revolution might take place, and how I always liked to win the game at all costs? I might not have said that last bit, but it’s true: I show no mercy towards my rivals enemies. In fact, when I am taking over their properties in lieu of payment, I make a point of laughing maniacally:

Well, get a load of this article in The Critic, the subheading of which is:

Once you’ve amassed your empire, ruthlessness must be the name of the game

How to win at Monopoly

Should we ever meet up again, and find ourselves with seven hours to spare, I challenge you to a game. Accept at your peril.

That’s enough persiflage from me, Miss Rebecca. I look forward to your reply.

To anyone reading this missive, you can see the whole archive here. Rebecca should reply next Wednesday, so make sure you don’t miss that by subscribing to hers.

Thanks for reading!