32 Comments

The comments are as good as the non-letter. Clever AI. Clever 14 year old girl. And a dancing Terry eh? Now that I can’t picture. (John Travolta and Patrick Swayze - yeah, that was the way to a girl’s heart…)

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I even taught dancing as an after-school activity, so there.

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So did many teachers at my schools but that didn’t mean that they could actually dance. But then I’m not sure they were remotely musical and you obviously have a passion for music, so hopefully that makes a big difference.

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Well I could. I went for dancing lessons in order to feel more confident and competent at family occasions in which some aunt or other would make me dance with her. I used the same moves, suitably adapted, in discos!

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Unsent letters. Imagine how many of those are floating around the world!

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Last year I read part of Double Negative, by Ivan Vladislavić, about letters that end up in the post office (in South Africa) with nowhere to deliver them too.

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I think this has inspired me to get back into Made In Chelsea after a five year hiatus. 👏👏😂

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OMG. 🤣

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You are wondering 'if today’s letters are far too casual or informal', Terry? Do you mean letters in general, or our correspondence in particular? Let me remind you that MY letters represent the very pinnacle of formality - and I know this because I make a point of editing out ALL uses of the vernacular and almost EVERY swear word just before I hit 'Publish'!

'You're not a saxophonist, are you?' Too funny!!!! 🎷🤣

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Both! I think we should address each other as Mrs Holden and Mr Freedman. Let's get some decorum going here.

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Yeah, right on, matey.

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<sigh> I don't know why I bother

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Feb 15·edited Feb 16Liked by Terry Freedman

As always, love reading your letters to Rebecca. And, I think the 14 year old girl you mention is pretty wise for her age. Also, do you teach children often? I think they would have good fun with your teaching style after they learn when you're joshing and when you're not. If I were 14, I think I would prefer your teaching style over some teachers I had when I was 14. A few come to mind. You win, hands down.

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I used to be a schoolteacher, but now mainly teach adults. Thanks for kind words. I always thought lessons were more effective with humour. Still do.

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I want to see your dancing feet. I will watch Saturday Night Fever on YouTube.

Are you a dancing feet stand in? Or rather, dance-in? Were those your size 10’s dancing in for Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing?

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Yes. Look for the close-ups of my feet doing the business.

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Terry Astaire.

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Fred Astair? Pfft. An amateur. My name for dancing purposes is Disco Tel

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'Dancing in for Patrick Swayze'? I thought it was all him! Carissa, my entire teenagehood has just come crashing down!!! 😶

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Ain't that a shame, as Fats Domino would say. My feet were better than his anyway. I even had better looks in those days.

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Oh it was him. Maybe Terry can send us a video of him dancing. Hehe.

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speak to my agent. His name is Willow

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Feb 14Liked by Terry Freedman

"Wait a minute! AI never lies...." What? Have you never heard of GIGO? I can't tell you how many of my Substack subscribers are actually bots. But no doubt far more that I want. When someone subscribes to 🍁Leaves, whose profile shows no posts, no likes, no notes and who "reads" 953 other Substacks? I delete them immediately. For all the good it will do. Love the letters, Terry. I always feel like I have had a visit.

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Feb 16·edited Feb 16Author

Firstly, I have heard of GIGO. Secondly, I have reason to believe that you're a bot. How else could you write such cracking stories at the rate you do? Thirdly, I think your comment ws generated by ChatGPT. Thanks for kind words!

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Feb 16Liked by Terry Freedman

If I were AI, Terry, I would actually have to demonstrate intelligence, don't you think? I produce a lot, only because I have no other life now. All I do is write from dawn to midnight. (I sometimes take time out to shower and sleep.) YOU, on the other hand are obviously RI ( real intelligence) and how you manage to write so much and still maintain a marriage, pets, friends, biking, and everything else is beyond me...

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I'm a fast worker when it comes to writing 😂 As for showering, I am like Queen Liz the first: I have once a year whether I need it or not

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“I think we all knew that.” 😂

How boring if you ceased to speak in that class!

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I know, great isn't it? And she said it in that specially withering manner that 14 year-old girls have. As for speaking in class, it has become expected I think. Last term the tutor wanted to know whether we thought Willoughby (LNorthanger Abbey) had been playing Marianne all along. My contribution to the discussion was thus:

As someone who used to chat up women (I'm not allowed to any more) I can tell you that Willoughby was definitely stringing her along. That's what blokes do. I hope you have found that comment useful.

We were all laughing so much that no further discussion on the matter was able to take place.

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Feb 14Liked by Terry Freedman

'OK, I’m back. How disappointing that you misread my reference to blue plaques as “blue plague”. Very imaginative, but even so. I mean, I even included a link to the blue plaque website for heaven’s sake. <Sigh>'

I couldn't stop laughing at this.

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🤣

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