Experiments in style: Time loop

Here we go -- again, PLUS: a question

Greetings!

One of the things I’ve been trying out is reworking a piece of text into a completely different style. A full exposition and explanation are given here:

Experimenting with styles

For today’s experiment I unfortunately found myself caught in a time loop.

First, though, here is the original text on which these experiments or transformations are based:

The original (template) text

In the middle of the night, I woke up (if you can call being semi-conscious being awake), walked purposefully towards the door to go to the bathroom — and almost knocked myself out.

The reason was that in the twin states of entire darkness and semi-somnambulance I was facing in a different direction from the one I thought I was facing. As a result, instead of walking through the door, I tried to walk through the wall.

The next few days brought nausea and headaches. After much prevarication I went to Accident and Emergency, where I waited petrified among people for whom “social distancing” means not quite touching you, and who wore their masks as a chin-warmer.

An hour and a half later I emerged into the twilight, secure in the knowledge that I had nothing more serious than mild concussion. I failed to do much writing, but I was pleased to have read a further 17% of my book.

Time Loop

In the middle of the night last Wednesday, I woke up (if you can call being semi-conscious being awake), walked purposefully towards the door to go to the bathroom — and almost knocked myself out.

The reason was that in the triple states of entire darkness, semi-somnambulance , and being under the influence of a mild sedative I’d taken before turning out the light, I was facing in a different direction from the one I thought I was facing. As a result, instead of walking through the door, I tried to walk through the wall.

The next few days brought nausea and headaches. After much prevarication I went to Accident and Emergency, where I waited petrified among people for whom “social distancing” means not quite touching you, and who wore their masks as a chin-warmer.

An hour and a half later I emerged into the twilight, secure in the knowledge that I had nothing more serious than mild concussion. The nurse I saw told me to take it easy, and gave me a mild sedative to help me relax before I went to bed. I failed to do much writing during the day, but I was pleased to have read a further 17% of my book.

I had a very pleasant evening, and remembered to take the sedative just before turning the light off to go to sleep.

In the middle of the night last Wednesday, I woke up (if you can call being semi-conscious being awake), walked purposefully towards the door to go to the bathroom — and almost knocked myself out.

The reason was that in the triple states of entire darkness, semi-somnambulance, and being under the influence of a mild sedative, I was facing in a different direction from the one I thought I was facing. As a result, instead of walking through the door, I tried to walk through the wall.

The next few days brought nausea and headaches. After much prevarication I went to Accident and Emergency, where I waited petrified among people for whom “social distancing” means not quite touching you, and who wore their masks as a chin-warmer.

An hour and a half later I emerged into the twilight, secure in the knowledge that I had nothing more serious than mild concussion. The nurse I saw told me to take it easy, and gave me a mild sedative to help me relax before I went to bed. I failed to do much writing during the day, but I was pleased to have read a further 17% of my book.

I had a very pleasant evening, and remembered to take the sedative just before turning the light off to go to sleep.

In the middle of the night last Wednesday, I woke up (if you can call being semi-conscious being awake), walked purposefully towards the door to go to the bathroom — and almost knocked myself out.

…

“You go back, Jack, do it again, wheel turning round and round”

There are two key questions raised by this version. What are they? Please say what you think in the comments section.

I hope you enjoyed this version. If you’d like to dig deeper, I often write an ‘Experiments in style extra’ post to explain how a version came about, or how I did it. For example, very shortly I will be explaining where the idea for this one came from (because it isn’t on my original list). That’s for paid subscribers.

If you’re new to the series, you can see the index of my experiments here: Index.

As always, I’d love to hear your comments.