Surprisingly I quite enjoyed this. Each ‘I remember’ actually slowed me down and slowly built the story. There were a few things approached from a slightly different angle. I remember feeling more fully in the moment! Interesting... Thanks Terry. Enjoy your week.
I like to write from 2nd person POV (e.g., you), especially when I'm talking about myself experiencing an absurd situation. This "I remember" format achieves something similar, as if you're telling yourself a story you can't quite believe.
A brilliantly written story. I don't know how I missed it in the first place. You've used the second person to great humorous effect. The repetition of "You [do x].." somehow makes it funny.
Thanks, Amran. I'm looking forward to reading that, because one of the styles on my back burner is precisely that, 2nd person, but I'm not sure how effective or convincing it would be.
I'd never really tried it before until I started writing here on Substack. I also did it to truly absurd effect in my Christmas Eve piece from last year. In that one, I switched from 1st, to 2nd, back to 1st: https://agowani.substack.com/p/rudolphs-war-journal-back-from-the
No obligation to read either. Only if they help with your process.
All writing helps with my process as you put it. I'll even read stories on subjects I'm not interested in if the first sentence grabs me. Right, off to read it now
It has a therapeutic feel, like it's blunting the edges of past trauma (drained of emotion). And yet conversely, there's a tension, because it highlights the slipperiness of that flirtatious old fish, memory.
Completely changed things. As others have said, this isn't my favourite either, but I appreciate what it does to this. It almost becomes mantra like. Like this is some kind of therapy session of working through the trauma of that night.
This is not my favorite style either, but I love the experimentation and how it brings up ideas that might work from a different angle. As in scientific experimentation, sometimes you have to stretch further than you think to find out where the limits are and gain a new perspective.
Thanks, Renee. I really appreciate your bringing in the notion of scientific experimentation. That's exactly what it is, and as in (genuine) science experiments I don't know whether it will work or not. Love the idea of finding out what the limits are too: an application of the Peter Principle in effect (people get promoted to the level of their incompetence, indicating that they should have remained on the level below!)
Ha, unfortunately with promoting people into management it's hard to pull back once you realize you've gone too far... I had a wise colleague (now retired) tell me when I joined my company's R&D department, "if you haven't broken something or set something on fire, you've haven't gone far enough!" He was only half joking. I try to avoid the fire part, but otherwise I agree with his philosophy wholeheartedly. Go big when it's safe, find where things fall off the cliff, then come back the other way.
This was fascinating, Terry! I felt that the repetitive 'I remember' actually put distance between me and the narrative - as if I were reading the story from much further away, rather than feeling a part of it. Another great Experiment in Style - thank you!
this version is great! I love that the repetition of "I remember" just leaves you with skimming the details and hitting on I Remember over and over again. This makes me see the author as the one remembering, and the details fade out. And then as the reader, I think "what do I remember?" for myself. Obsessive. Fun.
Thanks so much Carol. I was starting to think I was a lone voice in a desert of Philistines 😂 I get that the repetitive nature of it can become boring, but like the effect of it washing over me. I think had a kind of ethereal quality. Thank your putting a more positive point of view
As others pointed out, I don’t love the repetition , but I do like this as I writing prompt. I find it can spark memories or prompt stories we didn’t know we were ready to tell
Yes. We gotta experiment. Thus the debacle of a few of my latest posts! Experimenting helps us gain perspective, I think, and must be done. I am, for example, working on a fantasy right now and I believe I am bumping up against my limitations and bouncing back...
Since you asked, thumbs down for me, personally, on this one. After three sentences, I found "I remember" annoying and just began skipping over the beginning of each sentence. If Georges Parec's book has 500 of these, I most likely would not be interested. I DO, however, think "I remember" might make an excellent prose poem of about five lines, and might even attempt one myself. Repetition can be an interesting device, and I use it myself sometimes in fiction, but this was a bit over the top for me. The version in the last post was stellar, IMHO!
I know what you mean, Sharron, but I find these mesmeric in a way. I agree that five or so could make a decent prose poem. Listen, we gotta experiment, right? Glad you liked the last one a lot. 😁
You and Sharron ought to get together. I am working on a special collection of unreadable work. But as I said to Sharron, we gotta experiment, yes? Otherwise we won't know what works. 😊
Surprisingly I quite enjoyed this. Each ‘I remember’ actually slowed me down and slowly built the story. There were a few things approached from a slightly different angle. I remember feeling more fully in the moment! Interesting... Thanks Terry. Enjoy your week.
I like to write from 2nd person POV (e.g., you), especially when I'm talking about myself experiencing an absurd situation. This "I remember" format achieves something similar, as if you're telling yourself a story you can't quite believe.
If you haven't seen it, I used 2nd person to great effect in my knee surgery piece: https://agowani.substack.com/p/how-to-survive-the-us-healthcare
A brilliantly written story. I don't know how I missed it in the first place. You've used the second person to great humorous effect. The repetition of "You [do x].." somehow makes it funny.
Thanks, Terry! For a long while it was my most popular post. But then that weed dispensary madness happened... :-)
Thanks, Amran. I'm looking forward to reading that, because one of the styles on my back burner is precisely that, 2nd person, but I'm not sure how effective or convincing it would be.
I'd never really tried it before until I started writing here on Substack. I also did it to truly absurd effect in my Christmas Eve piece from last year. In that one, I switched from 1st, to 2nd, back to 1st: https://agowani.substack.com/p/rudolphs-war-journal-back-from-the
No obligation to read either. Only if they help with your process.
All writing helps with my process as you put it. I'll even read stories on subjects I'm not interested in if the first sentence grabs me. Right, off to read it now
It has a therapeutic feel, like it's blunting the edges of past trauma (drained of emotion). And yet conversely, there's a tension, because it highlights the slipperiness of that flirtatious old fish, memory.
Interesting point about tension and memory, Gadzooks. The exercise made me remember aspects I'd forgotten. Agree with blunting point too. Thanks!
Completely changed things. As others have said, this isn't my favourite either, but I appreciate what it does to this. It almost becomes mantra like. Like this is some kind of therapy session of working through the trauma of that night.
Thanks, Nathan. Funnily enough, I was going to use the word 'mantric' myself in response to another comment. Trauma: 😂
Heh, 'mantric', that's the word I wanted!
😎
This is not my favorite style either, but I love the experimentation and how it brings up ideas that might work from a different angle. As in scientific experimentation, sometimes you have to stretch further than you think to find out where the limits are and gain a new perspective.
Great thoughts, Renee.
Thanks, Renee. I really appreciate your bringing in the notion of scientific experimentation. That's exactly what it is, and as in (genuine) science experiments I don't know whether it will work or not. Love the idea of finding out what the limits are too: an application of the Peter Principle in effect (people get promoted to the level of their incompetence, indicating that they should have remained on the level below!)
Ha, unfortunately with promoting people into management it's hard to pull back once you realize you've gone too far... I had a wise colleague (now retired) tell me when I joined my company's R&D department, "if you haven't broken something or set something on fire, you've haven't gone far enough!" He was only half joking. I try to avoid the fire part, but otherwise I agree with his philosophy wholeheartedly. Go big when it's safe, find where things fall off the cliff, then come back the other way.
LOL Wise words indeed!
This was fascinating, Terry! I felt that the repetitive 'I remember' actually put distance between me and the narrative - as if I were reading the story from much further away, rather than feeling a part of it. Another great Experiment in Style - thank you!
Thank you, Rebecca. Vindicated at last. Interesting; it does have a sort of distancing effect, doesn't it?
this version is great! I love that the repetition of "I remember" just leaves you with skimming the details and hitting on I Remember over and over again. This makes me see the author as the one remembering, and the details fade out. And then as the reader, I think "what do I remember?" for myself. Obsessive. Fun.
Thanks so much Carol. I was starting to think I was a lone voice in a desert of Philistines 😂 I get that the repetitive nature of it can become boring, but like the effect of it washing over me. I think had a kind of ethereal quality. Thank your putting a more positive point of view
Plus, I'm thinking that from a meta view your whole experiments in style series is a bit of an oluipo activity to begin with.
Indeed, Carol. In fact it was originally housed in a section called Oulipo until I gave it it's own home
As others pointed out, I don’t love the repetition , but I do like this as I writing prompt. I find it can spark memories or prompt stories we didn’t know we were ready to tell
Thanks, Camille. That's a good point. I found that it caused me to remember one or two aspects of that episode that I'd forgotten about!
Yes. We gotta experiment. Thus the debacle of a few of my latest posts! Experimenting helps us gain perspective, I think, and must be done. I am, for example, working on a fantasy right now and I believe I am bumping up against my limitations and bouncing back...
😁 I do that a lot!
Since you asked, thumbs down for me, personally, on this one. After three sentences, I found "I remember" annoying and just began skipping over the beginning of each sentence. If Georges Parec's book has 500 of these, I most likely would not be interested. I DO, however, think "I remember" might make an excellent prose poem of about five lines, and might even attempt one myself. Repetition can be an interesting device, and I use it myself sometimes in fiction, but this was a bit over the top for me. The version in the last post was stellar, IMHO!
I know what you mean, Sharron, but I find these mesmeric in a way. I agree that five or so could make a decent prose poem. Listen, we gotta experiment, right? Glad you liked the last one a lot. 😁
You and Sharron ought to get together. I am working on a special collection of unreadable work. But as I said to Sharron, we gotta experiment, yes? Otherwise we won't know what works. 😊
exactly!