35 Comments

That is a great additional voice Terry. I'm wondering if he realized the notoriety he would get on a simple bathroom jaunt!

Expand full comment
author

🤣 Thanks, Just :-)

Expand full comment

Great to see a different side to the writer (photo, although I also like the feel of the original one), and story. I wonder how it would feel to double up, i.e. from the perspective of a non-assertive onlooker, or a suspicious police community support officer?

Expand full comment
author

Thanks, Mya. I have thought of doing a police one, but in my mind it keeps turning out like the court procedural one. The unassertive onlooker sounds interesting

Expand full comment
Sep 25, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

"Anyway, the conversation petered out, and he just buried his head in his book. Antisocial is what I call that behaviour, but we’re all different I suppose."

^brilliant brilliant. So much character in this.

As always Terry, you continue to delight and astound with these experiments. How you can wring so much out of such a short piece is a seemingly endless weekly joy!

This one is up there in the top Experiments, I'd say, in part because it's such a flip of the formula to step outside and view you from another's perspective.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks, Nathan. I found it interesting -- and challenging -- writing it from another person's viewpoint!

Expand full comment

I love it. I found these a little ... exasperating? early on, but once you wrap your head around what’s going on, they just get better and better. I guess you’re stretching your wings looking for ways to keep it interesting for yourself too, so that helps. I’m obviously going to have to check my emails now, as Rebecca’s comment had me confused but Sharon has clarified things for me. See you soon. 🤗🤗

Expand full comment
author

exasperating? Do explain, Mya 😟 Stretching is right!

Expand full comment

When I first came across these, it seemed like a lot of duplication for no reason. It’s only as we become used to the words and the story and what you’re trying to do that it all slots into place and makes sense. And becomes properly enjoyable.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks for clarifying, Beth. I repeat the template bit and the intro for the benefit of people coming across it for the first time. I try to make the actual experiments different from each other. Glad you're enjoying them now. 😊

Expand full comment

👍👍😃😃 A much less ‘Bah Humbug’ photo. 😃😃👍👍

Expand full comment
author
Sep 27, 2023·edited Sep 27, 2023Author

I know, I thought I should exercise my smile muscles for the benefit of my fans 🤣

Expand full comment
Sep 24, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

I think this is the best version of all of them! As for the new portrait in the email: TWO thumbs up,my friend! I feel you have been hiding the realTerry all this time!

Expand full comment
author

Thanks very much, Sharron! 🤣

Expand full comment

Those unfriendly writers, they always want to be alone and don't like small talk!

Well done Terry. I'm sure this exercise tests your writing skills, it sure makes my brain work even contemplating how you pull it off.

Expand full comment
Sep 25, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

Isn't it such a great and constant flow of creativity? One of my highlights each week, for sure 😁

Expand full comment
author

aw shucks. Thanks, Nathan

Expand full comment
author

🤣Correct! Thanks, Donna. It does push me. Hope you find it useful too

Expand full comment

I do find it useful. I am learning more about narrative writing. I'm sure I learned about it in school but that was light years ago. Your experiment has taught me about many different kinds of writing. In fact, that just gave me an idea to present this project to Tara Penry's Enchanted Forest. It came to mind because she is a literature prof at a Uni. Her students might like this (I'm not sure if this is the kind of content she teaches but I know she will like it personally).

Expand full comment
author

Thanks, Donna. @Tara Penry might find this article useful, because it mentions two books that have done this, and from which I got the idea: https://terryfreedman.substack.com/p/experimenting-with-styles

Expand full comment

I will pass it on for sure, thanks.

Expand full comment
author

😁

Expand full comment

Interesting take, Terry. Writing in third person and critiquing your own demeanor seems like an uncomfortable excercise but it was very enjoyable for this reader.

Expand full comment

I agree. I really enjoyed this too, Jim. Having read so many of these, to suddenly switch to another perspective is really interesting.

By the way, I haven't forgotten about your new piece! I'm just waiting to have two beers at hand in order to read through it ;)

Expand full comment

I’ll be interested to hear your thoughts on it, Nathan. Always beer in the fridge and I could put a few shrimp on the barbecue for you.

Expand full comment
author

I don't eat shrimps. And I don't drink beer. Mind you, it would be a trek for me anyway. 🤣

Expand full comment
Sep 25, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

Read it. Loved it. Commented over on your Stack 😁

Expand full comment
Sep 25, 2023Liked by Terry Freedman

Would gladly have that 😉

Will be heading over there very shortly.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks, Jim. I thought a critical approach would sound more convincing, as opposed to "I met this great bloke, handsome, debonair, intelligent etc...". I was worried in any case that it would still sound like me 🤣

Expand full comment

Ooooh Terry, I’ve hugely enjoyed this third-person take for this most recent post in your fabulous series of ‘Experiments in style’, but I have to say that it’s your first-person paragraph with its portrait of you right at the top that’s really made me smile!

Thank you for another great read. I’m way behind on my Substack inbox, but when I saw this post come in I couldn’t resist it, so it jumped the queue! 😊 Keep ‘em coming. 🙌

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, O wise one (wise for getting your priorities right).

Expand full comment

🤣

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
author

Larry Foley was a boxer who I think never lost a fight, hence that expression. Thanks for kind words, Mitch.

Expand full comment

Ha! I never knew where that phrase originated!! Us Aussies are of British descent. Our family regularly used that phrase. (Happy as Larry)

Expand full comment
author

🤣

Expand full comment