Great to see a different side to the writer (photo, although I also like the feel of the original one), and story. I wonder how it would feel to double up, i.e. from the perspective of a non-assertive onlooker, or a suspicious police community support officer?
Thanks, Mya. I have thought of doing a police one, but in my mind it keeps turning out like the court procedural one. The unassertive onlooker sounds interesting
"Anyway, the conversation petered out, and he just buried his head in his book. Antisocial is what I call that behaviour, but we’re all different I suppose."
^brilliant brilliant. So much character in this.
As always Terry, you continue to delight and astound with these experiments. How you can wring so much out of such a short piece is a seemingly endless weekly joy!
This one is up there in the top Experiments, I'd say, in part because it's such a flip of the formula to step outside and view you from another's perspective.
I love it. I found these a little ... exasperating? early on, but once you wrap your head around what’s going on, they just get better and better. I guess you’re stretching your wings looking for ways to keep it interesting for yourself too, so that helps. I’m obviously going to have to check my emails now, as Rebecca’s comment had me confused but Sharon has clarified things for me. See you soon. 🤗🤗
When I first came across these, it seemed like a lot of duplication for no reason. It’s only as we become used to the words and the story and what you’re trying to do that it all slots into place and makes sense. And becomes properly enjoyable.
Thanks for clarifying, Beth. I repeat the template bit and the intro for the benefit of people coming across it for the first time. I try to make the actual experiments different from each other. Glad you're enjoying them now. 😊
I think this is the best version of all of them! As for the new portrait in the email: TWO thumbs up,my friend! I feel you have been hiding the realTerry all this time!
I do find it useful. I am learning more about narrative writing. I'm sure I learned about it in school but that was light years ago. Your experiment has taught me about many different kinds of writing. In fact, that just gave me an idea to present this project to Tara Penry's Enchanted Forest. It came to mind because she is a literature prof at a Uni. Her students might like this (I'm not sure if this is the kind of content she teaches but I know she will like it personally).
Interesting take, Terry. Writing in third person and critiquing your own demeanor seems like an uncomfortable excercise but it was very enjoyable for this reader.
Thanks, Jim. I thought a critical approach would sound more convincing, as opposed to "I met this great bloke, handsome, debonair, intelligent etc...". I was worried in any case that it would still sound like me 🤣
Ooooh Terry, I’ve hugely enjoyed this third-person take for this most recent post in your fabulous series of ‘Experiments in style’, but I have to say that it’s your first-person paragraph with its portrait of you right at the top that’s really made me smile!
Thank you for another great read. I’m way behind on my Substack inbox, but when I saw this post come in I couldn’t resist it, so it jumped the queue! 😊 Keep ‘em coming. 🙌
That is a great additional voice Terry. I'm wondering if he realized the notoriety he would get on a simple bathroom jaunt!
🤣 Thanks, Just :-)
Great to see a different side to the writer (photo, although I also like the feel of the original one), and story. I wonder how it would feel to double up, i.e. from the perspective of a non-assertive onlooker, or a suspicious police community support officer?
Thanks, Mya. I have thought of doing a police one, but in my mind it keeps turning out like the court procedural one. The unassertive onlooker sounds interesting
"Anyway, the conversation petered out, and he just buried his head in his book. Antisocial is what I call that behaviour, but we’re all different I suppose."
^brilliant brilliant. So much character in this.
As always Terry, you continue to delight and astound with these experiments. How you can wring so much out of such a short piece is a seemingly endless weekly joy!
This one is up there in the top Experiments, I'd say, in part because it's such a flip of the formula to step outside and view you from another's perspective.
Thanks, Nathan. I found it interesting -- and challenging -- writing it from another person's viewpoint!
I love it. I found these a little ... exasperating? early on, but once you wrap your head around what’s going on, they just get better and better. I guess you’re stretching your wings looking for ways to keep it interesting for yourself too, so that helps. I’m obviously going to have to check my emails now, as Rebecca’s comment had me confused but Sharon has clarified things for me. See you soon. 🤗🤗
exasperating? Do explain, Mya 😟 Stretching is right!
When I first came across these, it seemed like a lot of duplication for no reason. It’s only as we become used to the words and the story and what you’re trying to do that it all slots into place and makes sense. And becomes properly enjoyable.
Thanks for clarifying, Beth. I repeat the template bit and the intro for the benefit of people coming across it for the first time. I try to make the actual experiments different from each other. Glad you're enjoying them now. 😊
👍👍😃😃 A much less ‘Bah Humbug’ photo. 😃😃👍👍
I know, I thought I should exercise my smile muscles for the benefit of my fans 🤣
I think this is the best version of all of them! As for the new portrait in the email: TWO thumbs up,my friend! I feel you have been hiding the realTerry all this time!
Thanks very much, Sharron! 🤣
Those unfriendly writers, they always want to be alone and don't like small talk!
Well done Terry. I'm sure this exercise tests your writing skills, it sure makes my brain work even contemplating how you pull it off.
Isn't it such a great and constant flow of creativity? One of my highlights each week, for sure 😁
aw shucks. Thanks, Nathan
🤣Correct! Thanks, Donna. It does push me. Hope you find it useful too
I do find it useful. I am learning more about narrative writing. I'm sure I learned about it in school but that was light years ago. Your experiment has taught me about many different kinds of writing. In fact, that just gave me an idea to present this project to Tara Penry's Enchanted Forest. It came to mind because she is a literature prof at a Uni. Her students might like this (I'm not sure if this is the kind of content she teaches but I know she will like it personally).
Thanks, Donna. @Tara Penry might find this article useful, because it mentions two books that have done this, and from which I got the idea: https://terryfreedman.substack.com/p/experimenting-with-styles
I will pass it on for sure, thanks.
😁
Interesting take, Terry. Writing in third person and critiquing your own demeanor seems like an uncomfortable excercise but it was very enjoyable for this reader.
I agree. I really enjoyed this too, Jim. Having read so many of these, to suddenly switch to another perspective is really interesting.
By the way, I haven't forgotten about your new piece! I'm just waiting to have two beers at hand in order to read through it ;)
I’ll be interested to hear your thoughts on it, Nathan. Always beer in the fridge and I could put a few shrimp on the barbecue for you.
I don't eat shrimps. And I don't drink beer. Mind you, it would be a trek for me anyway. 🤣
Read it. Loved it. Commented over on your Stack 😁
Would gladly have that 😉
Will be heading over there very shortly.
Thanks, Jim. I thought a critical approach would sound more convincing, as opposed to "I met this great bloke, handsome, debonair, intelligent etc...". I was worried in any case that it would still sound like me 🤣
Ooooh Terry, I’ve hugely enjoyed this third-person take for this most recent post in your fabulous series of ‘Experiments in style’, but I have to say that it’s your first-person paragraph with its portrait of you right at the top that’s really made me smile!
Thank you for another great read. I’m way behind on my Substack inbox, but when I saw this post come in I couldn’t resist it, so it jumped the queue! 😊 Keep ‘em coming. 🙌
Thank you, O wise one (wise for getting your priorities right).
🤣
Larry Foley was a boxer who I think never lost a fight, hence that expression. Thanks for kind words, Mitch.
Ha! I never knew where that phrase originated!! Us Aussies are of British descent. Our family regularly used that phrase. (Happy as Larry)
🤣