Experiments in style: Alphabetical version

Here's another small experiment

Greetings!

Welcome to my ongoing (and potentially never-ending!) project, experiments in style. The Introduction below explains what it’s all about, but if you already know then just go straight to the latest version, below.

Enjoy!

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Introduction

One of the things I’ve been trying out is reworking a piece of text into a completely different style. A full exposition and explanation are given here:

Experimenting with styles

Here is the original text on which these experiments or transformations are based:

The original (template) text

In the middle of the night, I woke up (if you can call being semi-conscious being awake), walked purposefully towards the door to go to the bathroom — and almost knocked myself out.

The reason was that in the twin states of entire darkness and semi-somnambulance I was facing in a different direction from the one I thought I was facing. As a result, instead of walking through the door, I tried to walk through the wall.

The next few days brought nausea and headaches. After much prevarication I went to Accident and Emergency, where I waited petrified among people for whom “social distancing” means not quite touching you, and who wore their masks as a chin-warmer.

An hour and a half later I emerged into the twilight, secure in the knowledge that I had nothing more serious than mild concussion. I failed to do much writing, but I was pleased to have read a further 17% of my book.

Alphabetical version

In this version, the sentences are in alphabetical order. I had to dispense with one or two grammatical niceties, but apart from that I think it works reasonably well. But what do you think? Has the sense of the story changed in any way by arranging it in this way?

A lot can happen between one day and the next. Bashing my head wasn't part of the plan. Crashing into the wall was not, you might say, the best idea I've ever had. Doors are there for a reason! Each time I remember the event in question, I feel silly. Feel embarrassed.

Got off the floor. Held on to the bed. I steadied myself for a moment or two.

"Jeez!", I thought. "Knocked myself out, almost."

Later, I felt a bit woozy. Meant to do some writing, but it was not easy with a background headache, and the worry. No: I needed to see a doctor just to be sure that I hadn't done any lasting damage.

Off to the local A & E I went. "Probably catch Covid here", I thought. Question: why were so few people wearing a mask? Reason: loads of people around my neighbourhood thought the whole thing was a government conspiracy. Social distancing? That would have been nice. Unbelievable! Viruses seem to thrive in hospitals, which is kind of illogical if you think about it.

Waiting time can be nine hours or more, but fortunately I was seen pretty quickly. X-Rays were not required apparently. Yours truly was told to take it easy for a week or so. Zero chance of getting any writing done, but at least I managed to read 17% of my book while waiting, so the day was not a complete write-off.