Reply to Rebecca #18

Ducks, a romantic serenade just for you, canals and books

Dear Rebecca

Thanks very much for your letter. Although I found the canal-related stuff interesting, the whole idea of canal travel holds three problems for me:

Firstly, it seems like an awful lot of work, dealing with locks and all that every five minutes. My idea of travel is where you just get in or on the vehicle and go.

Secondly, I associate canals with the pre-industrial revolution, when horses would pull barges along canals. At least back then canal travel was more sedate. But those days are long gone, and in any case I don’t have a horse.

Thirdly, the furthest I’ve ever gone by water was a hovercraft to the Isle of Wight. Before that I went on a boating lake once, with a friend. What a mistake that was. After we’d rowed around in a circle on the spot in the middle of the lake for about half an hour we finally managed to get back to the wharf or whatever you call it. About two feet from land he panicked and tried to get out, with the predictable result that the boat upended and we both went in the drink and got soaked. By that time there was a huge crowd of people waiting to hire a boat or watching their kids on boats, so the drenching took place to a huge roar of laughter and derision. That happened in 1966 and I still have a cold as a result. So, no canals for me thank you.

On the subject of water, I liked your drawing of ducks. They were very lifelike and informative. You’ve obviously studied ducks very closely. I’ve drawn a duck too, but I’ve had to do it from memory. Here it is:

A duck, by Terry Freedman (Fountain pen and paper)

You apologized for writing with a computer rather than a fountain pen. So you should. I use a quill myself. It’s the same one that Billy Wagglestaff used to write his plays (Omelette etc). Here it is:

A quill, by Terry Freedman

Which reminds me. I was in Stratford upon Avon once and a bloke was standing in the street selling skulls. He held up a large one and shouted, “This is Yorrick.” Then he held up a small one and shouted “Yorrick when he was a boy!”.

Do you realise we’ve been writing to each other like this for the better part of a year. You get less for shoplifting. As a token of my esteem, I should like to say that if you ever decide not to continue with these letters, I will console myself with the wise words of Fats Waller:

I really liked your idea, or passed-on idea, of singular film titles. I’m not well up enough on fillums to do that, so I’ve had a go with books. I hope that’s acceptable:

• One year of solitude

• Fahrenheit 1

• Of mouse and man

• The grape of wrath

• A tale of one city

• Lord of the Ring

• Moby Duck

Now, here is a puzzle Mrs Becks. One of those titles isn’t the real one, but it ties in with one of the themes of this letter. Can you identify the errant entry?

Well that’s in from me for now. I look forward to your reply.

All the best

Lord Freedman

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