National Introverts Week

How NOT to celebrate

For the period 15th March to the 21st March 2022 I intend to become an honorary American. Why? Because that is when the USA observes National Introverts Week.

I think that’s a potentially excellent idea: an excuse to close down all communication with anyone else for a week — a whole week! That’s even better than World Introvert Day on January 2nd, which I celebrate by avoiding as many people as possible.

The correct way to celebrate any occasion with the word “introvert” in its title is as follows:

• Unplug your landline.

• Change the settings on your mobile to make phone calls go direct to voicemail.

• Better still, set it to Do Not Disturb.

• Draw the curtains, and keep them drawn.

• If you have a car, park it a few streets away.

With a bit of luck, everyone will think you’ve gone away for a while.

Yet the National Introverts Week website suggests taking the opportunity to inform people about the benefits of introversion, and to pulverise a few myths.

Not me. I intend keeping myself to myself.

The most abiding and deep-rooted myth, I believe, is that introverts are shy. That is not necessarily the case. This was something that puzzled me for a long time. I tend not to say too much in meetings, or at least I don’t feel the constant need to make myself heard. That’s not because I’m shy, but because I agree with Salvator Rosa:

Be silent, unless what you have to say is better than silence.

If I were shy, I’d be reluctant to sing and play in a blues band, in which I went by the name Dr Tel:

Neither would I have appeared in various amateur dramatic productions, in which my stage name was Rick Benson.

Yet I consider myself an introvert.

The best explanation I found for this apparent paradox was in a book called The Successful Self, by Dorothy Rowe. From reading that I discovered that I am an outgoing introvert. That may sound like a contradiction in terms, but if we define introversion/extroversion in terms of factors such as stimulation, it becomes clearer. Introverts do not need external stimulii to the extent that extroverts do. Indeed, above a certain level of sensory input the typical introvert feels extremely uncomfortable, and needs time — alone — to recuperate.

Thus for me, the idea of using National Introverts Week as a reason to interact with lots of people is a non-starter.

If you are going to celebrate National Introverts Week, I hope you enjoy yourself.

But please don’t invite me.