Letter to Rebecca #24-19

Bats, crosswords, and a six-word film review: what's not to like?

Dear Rebecca

Thank you for your letter. Regarding your getting out of even attempting to solve my perfectly reasonable challenge of where the word ‘typical’ should be placed, all I can say is: typical. I don’t know why I bother sometimes.

I can see why you think my profile picture looks like ‘Just William’. I never had a skewiff cap, but my shirt was always hanging out. On the subject of school caps, my first encounter with my best-friend-to-be was when he rushed up to me and yanked my cap off my head and threw it over a wall. My dad went round to see his dad and it was all ended very amicably. Last year I had the following conversation with my friend:

Friend: I’d like to offer a full and unreserved apology for throwing your cap over a wall.

Me: Well, it’s a bit late now, isn’t it? Call yerself a friend?

I enjoy reading about different crossword setters’ names. I thought Araucaria was well-named because some of his puzzles really were quite twisted. I always loved the alphabetical ones, where you have to not only solve the clue, but work out where it goes in the grid!

Have you ever seen the Enigmatic Variations crossword? I’ve never been able to get very far past the instructions. Look at this one for example. Even if you solve some of the clues, you have to enter the letters in a jumbled up order. The Listener crossword is no better. Some of the puzzles have a hurdle called Playfair in which you have to decode or encrypt the answer, as explained here. These people are certifiably insane. Mind you, I have managed to solve a few Listener crossword clues in my time, so what does that say about me?

I always wondered if people who solved the Rubik’s Cube simply took it apart and reassembled it when nobody was looking.

Here’s a six-word review of a fillum:

🎬 Possibly prescient prognosis? Don’t trust Harry!

As for your ones:

🎬 Scary fish movie needs bigger boat. I think the answer is Jaws.

📚 Kidnap plot spotted: rescue mission. Barking! Erm, I dunno, sorry.

Bats in the belfry: thanks for the update on Batgate. What a missed opportunity. You could have had it with chips and peas. On the subject of gates, we’ve been watching Watergate on the BBC iPlayer. There were things in it I wasn’t aware of at the time, so it was very good.

I find I can spend ages trawling for good films or TV programmes but it’s really hard to find something engaging and intelligent, and not aimed at four-year olds.

As for delayed delivery, I mentioned last April that the Post Office delivered a letter 107 years late. That’s my standard excuse when anyone asks me why they didn’t receive a card from me. “What?”, I say. “But I posted it several years ago!”

Well, that’s it from me, Becks. I have to buy some bread rolls before the shop runs out, and then toot my horn.

All the best

Terry

To anyone reading this missive, you can see the whole archive here. Rebecca should reply next Wednesday, so make sure you don’t miss that by subscribing to hers.

Thanks for reading!