As you may know, Luke Rhinehart’s Dice Man makes all his decisions on the basis of a throw of the dice. Imagine if Hamlet was the Dice Man…
If it comes up as 1, I’ll bump off my uncle.
If it comes up as 2, I’ll pop round and visit Ophelia.
If it comes up as 3, I’ll put on a play.
If it comes up as 4, I’ll get rid of those wasters Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
If it comes up as 5, I’ll sort Laertes out.
If it comes out as 6, I’ll drive Polonius nuts.
Reference
The Dice Man, by Luke Rhinehart
This article was inspired by Harry Matthews. He created a work called 35 Variations on Theme from Shakespeare. These are based on the source text “To be or not to be, that is the question.”, and appear in the Penguin Book of Oulipo, which is one of the books I reviewed in this article:
The idea originates from Raymond Queneau’s Exercises in Style (Amazon affiliate link), in which the author takes a very mundane incident and reworks it in various ways.
My favourite three Hamlet “variations” are:
Another point of view
Hamlet, quit stalling.
Emphasis
To be, if you see what I mean, to BE, be alive, exist, not just keep hanging around; OR (ant that means one or the other, no getting away from it) NOT to be, NOT be alive, NOT exist, to — putting it bluntly — check out, cash in your chips, head west; THAT (do you read me? not “maybe this” or “maybe something else”) THAT is, really IS, irrevocably IS, THE one and only inescapable, overwhelming and totally preoccupying ultimate QUESTION.
Amplification
To live forever or never to have been born is a concern that has perplexed humanity from time immemorial and still does.
Concluding thoughts
This sort of thing is, in a sense, pointless, but I think it serves, or can serve, some serious purposes.
Firstly, it really does indicate how great the original is, so great that you can mangle it almost out of recognition and yet it still, on some level, works. I am reminded of great music, like Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. As well as different versions executed at different speeds, I’ve heard prog rock and disco versions and it’s still a fantastic piece of music: it’s so good that it seems to be indestructible. I’ve delved into this in the articles Musical Variations and More musical variations.
Secondly, a good teacherly exercise would be to ask students to rewrite it in their own words. I’ve seen “hip” versions of “Romeo, Romeo” and “Friends, Romans, Countrymen” and they work! (I recall a MAD magazine version of the former that included the immortal line “A horn by any other sound would blow as cool”, and a version of the latter which began “Friends, Romans, hipsters, let me clue you in…”!)
And thirdly, and following on from that point, it’s quite good fun.
You can read more of my attempts at Oulipo right here: Oulipo.
Indeed, on the subject of variations I’ve been running my own ‘experiments in style’ project in which I take a very simple story and rework it different ways. At the time of writing I’ve published 60 versions. Next Sunday another one will be published. I have a few more already completed and am working on an interesting and fun one at the moment. The full list (so far) is here: Index. Do have an explore.
These experiments come under the general heading of Oulipo, a French writing movement based on constraints. The word itself is an acronym meaning, approximately, workshop of potential literature.
The idea is that by imposing constraints on ourselves we can come up with interesting ideas, even if we don’t follow them through to their completion. See, for example, my story about trains and my review of The Girl At The Tram Stop.
If this sort of thing interests you and you can get to London on Saturday 8th June, you may be interested in the fact that I’m running a one day course on Oulipo called Creative Writing with Constraints.
But if that’s impossible for you, fret not: I’ll still be experimenting with Oulipo techniques here. And if you find them really interesting and want to find out more about how I created some of the variations, or more information about them, a paid subscription will get you access to Experiments in Style Extra, in which I dive deeper and cast my net wider — and sorry for mixing my metaphors!
Absolutely fascinating, Terry.
It must be very difficult to rework a famous text without divulging what that text is - but I think the second of the Hamlet reimaginings in your post has absolutely nailed it!
Negotiations with the diary representative in my entourage about June 8th continue. I'm houlipoping to make it.....
Great idea - Hamlet as the Dice Man. Certainly not Andrew Dice Clay. Shudder.
However, I'm teaching it in A level English Literature at this very point in time - and we're discussing Hamlet's painful inability to act: I mean, how long after promising your dead father's ghost you'll avenge his death do you wait before actually doing it? Using the dice, however, would make for a much quicker resolution. I'm going to take this idea to my kids today - and see what they think! Thanks!