Some females are afraid to be on their own, no matter what. I have researched and written about abuse of women. It's frightening and just plain sad, tragic. What Gemma doesn't know is that there's a good man standing right behind him. She just has to get him out of the way. I'm glad you're writing this story, Terry. It needs to be told. I'd much rather be on my own, with my freedom, hard as it is sometimes to manage it all. I have been away from Substack for a while due to other pressing urgencies which I'd much rather avoid, but if I don't face them they'll come back to haunt me in greater velocity. So, I think -- and hope -- now I'll have more space to get back to this, what I love most doing.
I think there’s some sort of subconcious element to it. We’ve known some women who ALWAYS manage to choose the wrong sort of man, even if they seem totally OK at first.
I loved reading this. I hope Gemma didn't marry him. "There is very little that is more depressing than seeing a free-thinking person reduced to a shadow of their former selves." I am rediscovering my free-thinking self, so I love what you wrote.
Thanks, Amy. I’m glad that you are rediscovering your free-thinking self. I don’t know your story, but I think in general that suppressing another person’s freedom is one of the most wicked things a person can do.
I like a short observational post like this and your voice is, as always, clear and unique. Possessiveness is a bizarre affliction, isn’t it? My son had a girlfriend once who forbid him speak to several of his female friends. He ignored her and eventually moved on, thank goodness.
Thanks for kind words, Tom. I wasn't sure whether such a short post would be interesting for people, so it's nice to hear your comment. I'm glad your son saw the light before it was too late.
I loved this, Terry, the photo (huge drawing inspiration for me), the brief glimpse into your parents' life, your noticing the girl in the stall across the way and her (unhealthy) relationship with her boyfriend, and also noticing the woman next to you at the hairdressers and her physical discomfort. You notice so much; it inspires me to notice more.
This struck a note: "There is very little that is more depressing than seeing a free-thinking person reduced to a shadow of their former selves." The reason, I think, that people stay in those relationships is insecurity about all kinds of things. I've known plenty, unfortunately. Some are free from those insecurities, and it's joyful to see.
This post would be a great TV series - you've set the stage and the plot for "Gemma" on the BBC. I, for one, would definitely watch. P.S. Love the street market theme, too.
Thanks very much, Mary. Several people have said they like the market idea. I wasn't sure, so that is nice feedback. I'm glad the photo has inspired you! I look forward to seeing the result on your Substack!
Love this. The street market theme offers endless possibilities. Too short for me as I wanted to know more of course. Why was Gemma’s self esteem non existent around a beau? What happened to her?
I always aim to write no more than necessary, Carissa! To answer your questions: 1. That's a good question. Goodness only knows. She had no reason to have low self-esteem: she was pleasant, intelligent and nice looking. Her boyfriend should have thought about how fortunate he was. Q2: No idea I'm afraid.
Some females are afraid to be on their own, no matter what. I have researched and written about abuse of women. It's frightening and just plain sad, tragic. What Gemma doesn't know is that there's a good man standing right behind him. She just has to get him out of the way. I'm glad you're writing this story, Terry. It needs to be told. I'd much rather be on my own, with my freedom, hard as it is sometimes to manage it all. I have been away from Substack for a while due to other pressing urgencies which I'd much rather avoid, but if I don't face them they'll come back to haunt me in greater velocity. So, I think -- and hope -- now I'll have more space to get back to this, what I love most doing.
I think there’s some sort of subconcious element to it. We’ve known some women who ALWAYS manage to choose the wrong sort of man, even if they seem totally OK at first.
Oh, for sure. My personal experience has been that-- oh, well, I won't go into it now.
I loved reading this. I hope Gemma didn't marry him. "There is very little that is more depressing than seeing a free-thinking person reduced to a shadow of their former selves." I am rediscovering my free-thinking self, so I love what you wrote.
Thanks, Amy. I’m glad that you are rediscovering your free-thinking self. I don’t know your story, but I think in general that suppressing another person’s freedom is one of the most wicked things a person can do.
I like a short observational post like this and your voice is, as always, clear and unique. Possessiveness is a bizarre affliction, isn’t it? My son had a girlfriend once who forbid him speak to several of his female friends. He ignored her and eventually moved on, thank goodness.
Thanks for kind words, Tom. I wasn't sure whether such a short post would be interesting for people, so it's nice to hear your comment. I'm glad your son saw the light before it was too late.
Love the format, and the theme, but this one is heart rending.
Thanks, Elizabeth. Yes, I agree, and I think it was only when I saw people’s responses that I realised just how heart rending.
I loved this, Terry, the photo (huge drawing inspiration for me), the brief glimpse into your parents' life, your noticing the girl in the stall across the way and her (unhealthy) relationship with her boyfriend, and also noticing the woman next to you at the hairdressers and her physical discomfort. You notice so much; it inspires me to notice more.
This struck a note: "There is very little that is more depressing than seeing a free-thinking person reduced to a shadow of their former selves." The reason, I think, that people stay in those relationships is insecurity about all kinds of things. I've known plenty, unfortunately. Some are free from those insecurities, and it's joyful to see.
This post would be a great TV series - you've set the stage and the plot for "Gemma" on the BBC. I, for one, would definitely watch. P.S. Love the street market theme, too.
Thanks very much, Mary. Several people have said they like the market idea. I wasn't sure, so that is nice feedback. I'm glad the photo has inspired you! I look forward to seeing the result on your Substack!
Love this. The street market theme offers endless possibilities. Too short for me as I wanted to know more of course. Why was Gemma’s self esteem non existent around a beau? What happened to her?
I always aim to write no more than necessary, Carissa! To answer your questions: 1. That's a good question. Goodness only knows. She had no reason to have low self-esteem: she was pleasant, intelligent and nice looking. Her boyfriend should have thought about how fortunate he was. Q2: No idea I'm afraid.
I love the idea of this series of posts, Terry - the street market theme is a nice link.
Sadly, the scenario you describe is all too real for too many people. Thank you for shining a light. 🔦
Thanks, Rebecca. Yes, very common. I had a very different kind of role model:
Customer to my mum: I tihink I'd like to elope with your husband.
Mum: Oh good, I'll give you the fare money! 😂
🫢
🤣
Good story, and relatable. The day my elder daughter’s divorce was finalized was a day of jubilation around here.
“a free-thinking person reduced to a shadow of their former selves” indeed. It was so good to see her bloom again.
Thanks, Cary. Sorry your daughter had to experience that, but it's marvellous that she was able to get away rom him and start to bloom again.