Ha! Fantastic. You were right. Hardboiled is where it’s at. I’ll check out the others too. 😉 This was a lot of fun. Glad to have met you in Office Hours, Terry!
Hardboiled through and through - my favourite version so far! Like reading Chandler or Hammett - or, actually, Jim Thompson - my favourite of that genre.
It was the first Thompson I read - at the suggestion of a friend who (correctly) thought I'd love it. I haven't read it since 1994, but I still remember how its twists and turns (and the reveal with regard to the actual nature of the protagonist) gripped me. At the time, I truly didn't see it coming.
Terry, I absolutely love this! Your voice evokes Raymond Chandler, and the story is oozing so deliciously with descriptive language.
The night is like a cobra, neon lights are bored, a car horn is lonely, the wind must've been on vacation from Alaska.... I could get lost in all this - and I mean that as a compliment!
Another brilliant Experiment in style - I don't know how you do it. Extraordinary work!
Terry, although you've covered the whole of your original story with this Hardboiled edition I find myself wanting more - an entire novel - a six-hour audiobook - whatever - just more, more, more, of THIS story in THIS voice. Oh, and please sell it to Netflix for megabucks while you're at it, because it would be AWESOME on screen.
(Please put me down to play Tony Vivaldi. Thanks.)
Naaaaah, I'll just fake some stubble with an eyebrow pencil, pull my felt hat down low over my eyes and walk with a masculine swagger. With my broad shoulders I'm sure I can pull off playing the part of a raffishly blokey gangster.... 👀
I could hear the moody background music during the whole read. So well done. I heard the perfect narrator's voice - was it yours? - reading it to me, as if I wasn't reading at all, but just listening. I'd say your experiment in hardboiled is A1 perfect.
Now write the screenplay. This was fab. I pictured Humphrey Bogart. Did you really get a concussion? You’re not supposed to do anything, no TV, no writing, no reading. 🤫
😂 Thanks. I've never written a screenplay but have recently been exploring the idea. Yes, mild concussion, and the nurse did tell me take it easy, which I interpreted loosely 😶
Sigh. I thought the Americans would think that, but I thought the other meaning must have come from my British roots - someone who packs a punch, has a massive left hook, whatever. Ah well. We’ll just let that one through to the keeper. 😃😏
Absolutely brilliant. I loved this version more than any other -- SO many great lines - it just cracked me up. "Night enfolded the city like a cobra." "Maybe it was the bourbon, maybe it was not sleeping too good, but I took a wrong turn." "Anyone comes asking, you ain’t seen me, right?” "..a dame in a nurse’s uniform shimmied up. I reckoned she was in the region of 36-23-36 – just my kind of region" "I turned my collar up against a wind that must have been on vacation from Alaska." On and on. You were all over this assignment like frosting on cake.
Frosting on cake! LOL. Thanks, Sharron. I have to say I enjoyed doing it, especially coming up with good similes and metaphors. It has veered from the original story slightly though! 😂
What fun the hardboiled version is. Back in the days of those men driving hacks and dames who were cool.
😁
Ha! Fantastic. You were right. Hardboiled is where it’s at. I’ll check out the others too. 😉 This was a lot of fun. Glad to have met you in Office Hours, Terry!
LOL Thanks, Holly! I'd love to hear what your favourite one is!
Hardboiled through and through - my favourite version so far! Like reading Chandler or Hammett - or, actually, Jim Thompson - my favourite of that genre.
Dang! I've never read Thompson. Thanks, will rectify that now. One of his books is on Amazon for 99p (Nothing more than murder)
Pop.1280 is my personal favourite.
Why?
It was the first Thompson I read - at the suggestion of a friend who (correctly) thought I'd love it. I haven't read it since 1994, but I still remember how its twists and turns (and the reveal with regard to the actual nature of the protagonist) gripped me. At the time, I truly didn't see it coming.
By the way, you might like this:
David Goodis wrote noir fiction that apparently was so bleak that another novelist, Ed Gorman, said of Goodis that:
He didn’t write novels, he wrote suicide notes.
That's from a book called The Life of Crime
I'll certainly give him a look! Thanks.
Thanks, you've got me intrigued
Terry, I absolutely love this! Your voice evokes Raymond Chandler, and the story is oozing so deliciously with descriptive language.
The night is like a cobra, neon lights are bored, a car horn is lonely, the wind must've been on vacation from Alaska.... I could get lost in all this - and I mean that as a compliment!
Another brilliant Experiment in style - I don't know how you do it. Extraordinary work!
Thanks very much, Rebecca. I had a lot of fun doing it 😃
It totally shows - it's a fantastic post! 🙌
Thanks! It's interesting how it shows, isn't it. I always try not to write if my heart isn't in it
Terry, although you've covered the whole of your original story with this Hardboiled edition I find myself wanting more - an entire novel - a six-hour audiobook - whatever - just more, more, more, of THIS story in THIS voice. Oh, and please sell it to Netflix for megabucks while you're at it, because it would be AWESOME on screen.
(Please put me down to play Tony Vivaldi. Thanks.)
Lol. Antonia Vivaldi perhaps?
Naaaaah, I'll just fake some stubble with an eyebrow pencil, pull my felt hat down low over my eyes and walk with a masculine swagger. With my broad shoulders I'm sure I can pull off playing the part of a raffishly blokey gangster.... 👀
No 2 is obviously the one that hits me round the head.
Brimful of jaded wit - exactly how one would expect a tired detective to be.
Thanks, Prue. Glad you picked up the jadedness and tiredness. What did you mean by 'No 2'?
Take no notice, I'm in a world of my own this week.
That’s me most of the time!
and me!
Haha!!!
:-)
This one is also my favorite so far. It's somehow cryptic and familiar, dramatic and funny all at the same time. Genius :-)
Thanks very much, Jacquie!
I could hear the moody background music during the whole read. So well done. I heard the perfect narrator's voice - was it yours? - reading it to me, as if I wasn't reading at all, but just listening. I'd say your experiment in hardboiled is A1 perfect.
Thanks so much, Mary :-). The narrator was my alter ego, Jason Fox, the guy in the drawing. Chortle
😅
😁
Now write the screenplay. This was fab. I pictured Humphrey Bogart. Did you really get a concussion? You’re not supposed to do anything, no TV, no writing, no reading. 🤫
😂 Thanks. I've never written a screenplay but have recently been exploring the idea. Yes, mild concussion, and the nurse did tell me take it easy, which I interpreted loosely 😶
What the hell Terry? Keep going! I want to read the rest of the story.
😂 thanks, Ehud. Me too!
We certainly get great value from that original story! A very cool rendition. Thanks slugger Terry.
Slugger? 😂
I have great fun finding ‘appropriate’ titles for you depending on the tone of the piece. ‘Slugger’ definitely felt appropriate for this one. 😃🤗
LOL. It sounds like a baseball player to me!
Sigh. I thought the Americans would think that, but I thought the other meaning must have come from my British roots - someone who packs a punch, has a massive left hook, whatever. Ah well. We’ll just let that one through to the keeper. 😃😏
Oh yes, I'd forgotten that meaning!
‘Slug’ is terminology in print production. Or am I wrong?!
🤣Loved it, Terry! One of the best ones, I think; it felt like reading a new story, alongside new vocabulary, all very credible.
Thanks Mya!
As per Jim, a new favourite Terry!
Is this perhaps also the longest form one? Or maybe it's just all the speech making it seem so. (No bad thing, just occurred to me as I was reading.)
You nailed the noir 😆
Fave line: A bull was loafing around nursing a gasper.
Thanks Nathan. Yes, I think it's the speech. That line makes no sense at all on the face of it😂
Doesn't matter, it's a great line 😅😅
Thanks! Well it does mean something once you translate it 😁
Absolutely my new favorite. Nice work, Terry.
Thanks, Jim! 😀
It’s hilarious - I love writing like this but not everyone sees the funny side I agree. Taking it far too seriously imo, but there you go!
Thanks, Lucy! Yes, I'm waiting for the repercussions from people without a sense of humour!
There are always those...!!!
Sadly
Yeah
😀
Tony Vivaldi? The same Tony Vivaldi what wrote that "Four Seasons" tune?
LOL. That's the one. I was going to bung in something about him ordering a four seasons pizza but thought maybe that would be too obvious! Chortle
Brilliant!
Thanks!!😀
Absolutely brilliant. I loved this version more than any other -- SO many great lines - it just cracked me up. "Night enfolded the city like a cobra." "Maybe it was the bourbon, maybe it was not sleeping too good, but I took a wrong turn." "Anyone comes asking, you ain’t seen me, right?” "..a dame in a nurse’s uniform shimmied up. I reckoned she was in the region of 36-23-36 – just my kind of region" "I turned my collar up against a wind that must have been on vacation from Alaska." On and on. You were all over this assignment like frosting on cake.
Frosting on cake! LOL. Thanks, Sharron. I have to say I enjoyed doing it, especially coming up with good similes and metaphors. It has veered from the original story slightly though! 😂