Experiments in style: Doctor's report

A view from the other side

One of the things I’ve been trying out is reworking a piece of text into a completely different style. A full exposition and explanation are given here:

Experimenting with styles

In today’s experiment I’d like to tell the story in the style of a doctor’s report. First, though, here is the original text on which these experiments or transformations are based:

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The original (template) text

In the middle of the night, I woke up (if you can call being semi-conscious being awake), walked purposefully towards the door to go to the bathroom — and almost knocked myself out.

The reason was that in the twin states of entire darkness and semi-somnambulance I was facing in a different direction from the one I thought I was facing. As a result, instead of walking through the door, I tried to walk through the wall.

The next few days brought nausea and headaches. After much prevarication I went to Accident and Emergency, where I waited petrified among people for whom “social distancing” means not quite touching you, and who wore their masks as a chin-warmer.

An hour and a half later I emerged into the twilight, secure in the knowledge that I had nothing more serious than mild concussion. I failed to do much writing, but I was pleased to have read a further 17% of my book.

Doctor’s report

Name: Terry Freedman

Date: 17 October 2020

Notes

Mr Freedman said he has been feeling sick and having headaches for several days. I asked him if he could think of any reason for these symptoms and he said that a few days ago he bumped into the bedroom wall when he wanted to visit the bathroom during the night.

A nurse took his blood pressure, and I informed Mr Freedman that it was dangerously high, and would account for the headaches. He informed me that his blood pressure had been perfectly fine before he walked into the hospital, but that the sight of everyone flagrantly disregarding the rules relating to social distancing and wearing masks had “wound him up”.

I asked him what he did for a living and he said he is a writer. But when I asked him what he writes he said, “I, Sir? Who is this ‘I’? I am merely a conduit for Calliope, Erato and Euterpe.”

After several tests I told him he had mild concussion, and to take it easy. He said thank goodness, because he hadn’t managed to do any writing, and was looking forward to catching up. On the plus side, he was glad that he’d had the chance to read a fair amount of his book.

Further action/appointments

Inform GP. No follow-up appointments required at this time. Should problems persist, see he should see his GP.

This report to be emailed to GP.

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Over to you

I’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s version.

For more experiments, please see the index. Paid subscribers also get behind the scenes information about some of these experiments as well as access to the whole of the back catalogue so to speak. In the most recent one I did a lit crit analysis of my hardboiled version, looking at the literary devices I used.