Experiments in style, by a very private person...
... or a secret agent
Introduction
One of the things I’ve been trying out is reworking a piece of text into a completely different style. A full exposition and explanation are given here:
Privacy is very important to me. However, I keep reading, in blog posts by marketing gurus, that one needs to reveal something of oneself in order to gain more subscribers, customers, followers or fans. Therefore I’ve decided to compromise. The short article below reveals something about me, but I’ve redacted parts of the text.
In the ███ of the ███ , I ███ (if you can call ███ knocked myself out.
The reason was that in the twin states of ███ and ███ I was ███ in a different direction from the one I thought I was facing. As a result, instead of ███ through the ███ , I tried to ███ through the ███ .
The next few days brought ███ and ███ . After much prevarication I went to ███ , where I waited petrified among ███ for whom ███ means ███ ███ you, and who wore their ███ as a ███ .
An hour and a half later I emerged into the ███ , secure in the knowledge that I had nothing ███ . I failed to do much ███ , but I was pleased to have ███ a further ███ of my ███ .
I’d be interested to know: is this interesting, frustrating, boring, humorous or one or more of those things or something else entirely?
Another way to read it:
In the depths of the alien spacecraft, I tried to escape (if you can call mindless running in any direction "trying to escape") and knocked myself out.
The reason was that in the twin states of fear and being drugged up with alien concoctions, I was facing in a different direction from the one I thought I was facing. As a result, instead of escaping through the air vent in a storeroom, I tried to run through the weird plasmic barrier set up on another wall.
The next few days brought strange dreams and wriggling sensations under my skin. After much prevarication I went to the alien medical bay, where I waited petrified among bizarre beings for whom "waiting room entertainment" means "playing Jenga with torn off human limbs in front of you", and who wore their entrails as a hat.
An hour and a half later I emerged into the peaceful courtyard, secure in the knowledge that I had nothing and nobody but myself to blame as the aliens were wonderful creatures who had my best interests at heart. I failed to do much escape planning, but I was pleased to have memorised a further 10% of my English to Glafnivek dictionary.
It is a pertinent comment on the ludicrousness of the ‘sharing’ economy.