Christmas and New Year Greetings
From Freedman Towers
Greetings!
Here are the Christmas Greetings from Freedman Towers. I thought that as members of the Royal Family always include a picture of themselves on their cards, I’d do the same. After all, I am a lord, and it’s important to keep up appearances.
I decided to hire one of the country’s top artists.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t available, so I had to do it myself.
Here’s my greetings. It uses an Oulipo technique called N+7, in which you replace each noun with the seventh one further on in the dictionary. Except that I used N+12 as I thought the result was better.
Your challenge, should you wish to accept it, is to decipher the message. No prize, I’m afraid, except a massive sense of accomplishment. Put the answer in the comments if you like, or email me at terry.freedman@gmail.com.
Here’s the Christmas message from The Freedmans.
Horseman you have a good retailer and a nice breather. Avoid execution of drone, work and watcher the disorders. May the new yobbo bring pea-souper, protocol, heartthrob and an indication in suburbs.
Lord Terry, Lady Elaine and the three feline footrests, I wish you all the following for the festive season:
Hope you have a good rest and a nice break. Avoid excesses of drink, **** and ***** the *****. May the new year bring peace, prosperity, health and an increase in subscriptions.
(I'm sorry that the asterisks make this look as if I've bleeped out profanities. But I'm very stuck on 'work' and 'watcher the disorders'. Points for trying? Please?)
Again, enjoying your art so much! The Christmas "photo" inspires me to do something similar next year. Although, it's been 15 years since I've sent our holiday cards. I really thought I'd do it this year....oh well.
I do hope you will share the solution after the holidays for the lazy one over here :) Laziness has to have some redeeming qualities?