This article has been published here as a contribution to the Soaring Twenties (STSC) Symposium. The Christmas Symposium theme is “fiction” .The STSC is a group of creatives who write, paint, versify and experiment their way through life. Join us!
First, a bit of background. This began life as an exercise in a creative writing class called The 60 Minute Writer, taken by a tutor called Claire Allen. Claire gave us the bare bones of a dialogue, and our task was to add to it in ways that would make it more lively. I’ve put the original prompt in italics, and then my version afterwards.
The original
I hope you enjoy reading it.
‘I don’t think I can do this any more.’
‘What?’
‘You heard me.’
‘What did you say?’
‘I said you heard me.’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I can’t do this any more. I want out.’
‘Out?’
‘Yes. I’m leaving.’
‘You can’t do that. You can’t just-’
‘-Yes. I can.’
My version
‘I don’t think I can do this any more.’ A few screws bounced out of the box when he slammed it down.
‘What?’ She looked at the sloping bookshelf half-attached to the wall.
‘You heard me.’ He stood up, holding his back, rolling his neck and shoulders.
‘What did you say?’
‘I said you heard me.’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I can’t do this any more. I want out. I’m not a carpenter.’
‘Out?’
‘Yes. I’m leaving. I need some fresh air. Find a handyman.’
‘You can’t do that. You can’t just-’
‘-Yes. I can. And I am.’
‘Look, why don’t we sit down and have a nice cup of tea?’
‘Why? Do you think that would improve my DIY skills?’
‘No, but it might improve your mood.’
‘How about we have a nice cup of tea, as you put it, and while we’re doing that see if we can find a local handyman who can make a better job of these shelves than I’ve been able to?’
‘OK.’
‘But you make the tea.’
They laughed.
Very creative, Terry. Your take on the conversation was unexpected. I can see the possibilities in this sort of prompt!
Haha! What a great twist of a classic breakup story! I'm cancelling my Ikea trip for today.